Coca-Cola’s New Coffee Drink Actually Sounds Kinda Dangerous

Look, we’re not gonna lie — some of us hold a special place in our rapidly-beating hearts for highly-caffeinated, sugary beverages that maybe we shouldn’t ever really be drinking. You know, like Coca-Cola’s brand new Coca-Cola Plus Coffee, a SODA drink that tastes like COFFEE and gives you a jolt of energy.

In the name of all things good and holy, no one has any damn business mixing coffee and Coca-Cola — and yet, humanity disagrees! After all, there are a lot of caffeine fiends out here, and capitalism has answered our prayers.

We all know that too much coffee can cause us to LITERALLY attack people and then get sent to jail, and we definitely are aware of the possible health risks of consuming soda — but people don’t care. We want that jittery rush! Just look at how people flipped when an airline announced they’d swap Coca Cola with Pepsi, or how the good people of Switzerland lost it when their government called coffee a non-essential. The horror!

"That was a trend before its time," Coca-Cola's chief technical officer told CNN Business. "I don't think people were ready to have a coffee portfolio within the Coca-Cola brand."https://t.co/Wvd0LUlKr8

— CNN Business (@CNNBusiness) May 30, 2019

Back in 2006, Coca-Cola launched something called Vault, which was a Coke drink with energy-boosing ingredients.

So, of course, they thought a coffee-coke hybrid monster would do well. It did — but in other countries, like Canada and France. In the U.S., they filled that little beast with nasties like high fructose corn syrup and acesulfame potassium (both of which are deeply unhealthy) and people noticed that it tasted “off.” (Hi, executives — chemicals are bad).

Fast forward to today, when Coke decided to resurrect the drink, without all the garbage and with an emphasis on actual coffee. It contains roughly a shot of espresso (so not too much higher than a normal can of Coke). It’s called Coca-Cola Plus Coffee and all in all, it’s not dangerous per se. Just don’t go drinking them all day long!

The drink will be available for purchase in 26 countries. According to Delish, it did really well in Australia, Italy, and Thailand. No word on when it’ll hit U.S. shelves — but get ready! It’s coming.

The idea isn’t super original, though. We’ve all tried Manhattan Special’s espresso-flavored soda that exists already (which is delicious and fizzy and, but also sort of robust and filling!).

People just can’t get enough. In fact, coffee has been injected into a LOT of pretty weird stuff over time: There was a South Korean coffee joint called Alex The Coffee, which took Coca-Cola and poured it over a shot of espresso, according to Chowhound. That’s sort of a soda-y Americano, right?

Consider Swedish Egg Coffee, which tastes like it sounds. It’s a Scandinavian-style brew which requires mixing an egg in with coffee. Yum?

You can grab one at FIKA. That is, if you can stomach the idea of eggs in your coffee! (We hear it’s great).

People also love a little coffee twist in their probiotic-rich drinks, like kombuca. It’s like a super-caffeinated SCOBY (a combo of bacteria and yeast that’s used to make kombucha)! Want to make it at home? Go for it.

In fact, fermented coffee is a thing. As Heal Beverages puts it, “Think coffee with lemon but packed with mighty things good for your gut”:

Of course, somehow, people have to take things WAY, WAY too far. Apparently, people drink coffee lemonade now, too. And we’re told it tastes GOOD. Even Starbucks doles out a recipe for it.

And then, because magic, there is wine coffee. According to Food & Wine, the Napa-based Molinari Caffe released a wine-infused coffee.

Here’s the deal: “The 100% Arabica beans are aged in oak wine barrels for a unique profile of fresh, red berry flavors and subtle hints of currants and blackberries. For the best flavor, add a small amount of sugar to this medium roast coffee. Caffeinated, but contains no alcohol.”

Other coffee retailers sell it, too.

Then there’s G&B Coffee’s drink experience, The Business and Pleasure. It’s made from espresso, cold-brewed oolong, and beer hops. YES, PLEASE.

Over at LA Mill, cold-brewed iced coffee, espresso granita (granita is sugar, water and ice), and vanilla bean ice cream! Delish.

In Singapore, Thailand, and Malaysia, people like to mix butter and coffee — sort of like a keto treat, right? It’s called Kopi Gu Yu.

Coffee is truly one of life’s best pleasures. Just make sure you’re not drinking too much every day. And don’t be afraid to experiment!