Categories: Beverage News

Vita Coco Is Threatening To Send A Twitter Troll Urine — And No, We’re Not Kidding

Vita Coco/Twitter

Epic Twitter fights between brands and consumers are nothing new. But this week, an exchange between a popular beverage maker and one particularly opinionated Twitter user reached a new level of savagery. And the Twitterverse loved every minute of it.

Let’s start at the beginning. Back in March, writer Tony Posnanski shared some “unpopular opinions” with his Twitter followers, one of which read, “Coconut water is disgusting. Even if it is from a baby coconut.” And while Posnanski is probably far from the only person who doesn’t have an affinity for that particular beverage, coconut water maker Vita Coco came for him — hard.

The beverage brand tweeted Posnanski more than two months after his initial post, sharing its own unpopular opinion with the so-called owner of an all-you-can-eat egg restaurant (at least according to his Twitter bio). Vita Coco’s response?

“There is such a thing as too many eggs.”

What followed was a profanity-laced back-and-forth for the ages, with Posnanski calling Vita Coco the “Miracle Whip of beverages” and resharing a 2013 article he wrote for HuffPost about just how disgusting he thinks coconut water is. By the time it was all said and done, though, Vita Coco’s social media coordinator had peed into a jug — and even Posnanski had to admit he got owned.

Check out the exchange below and decide for yourself who emerged victorious.

It all started innocently enough — after all, Posnanski didn’t even mention Vita Coco by name in his original tweet.

Time for another “unpopular opinions” post...

- Candy Corn is absolute trash

- The US version of “The Office” is the best version

- The Beatles are very overrated

- Coconut water is disgusting. Even if it is from a baby coconut

- Ariana Grande is better than Britney Spears
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) March 8, 2019

Vita Coco must have been stewing ever since, right?!

Unpopular Opinion: there is such a thing as too many eggs.
— Vita Coco (@VitaCoco) May 15, 2019

The conversation devolved quickly from there.

Popular opinion: Coconut water is fucking disgusting. https://t.co/BaRyFRC353
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 15, 2019

No word on how HuffPost felt about getting dragged into this.

I even wrote about how disgusting you are. https://t.co/7d9dQiomQ4
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 15, 2019

What did baby coconuts ever do to you, Tony?

And @VitaCoco don’t come at me with your shit is pressed or comes from the finest baby coconuts. Your shit is nasty like all coconut water.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 15, 2019

Fun fact: Posnanski was previously banned by Miracle Whip on Twitter. (True story.)

You are the Miracle Whip of beverages and should be embarrassed of yourselves.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 15, 2019

Vita Coco made a generous offer in hopes of getting Posnanski to change his mind.

Let us send you some, don't knock it till you try it.
— Vita Coco (@VitaCoco) May 15, 2019

But he wasn’t having it.

Fuck that. Save that nasty shit for someone else. I would rather drink your social media persons piss than coconut water.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 15, 2019

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

Address? pic.twitter.com/sQ7Mxrdj9f
— Vita Coco (@VitaCoco) May 15, 2019

Vita Coco later confirmed to Business Insider the woman in the photo was the brand’s community coordinator, Lane Rawlings, and that she did indeed urinate into the jug.

A dumbfounded Posnanski seemingly didn’t know how to react at first.

The social media director for Vita Coco coconut water pissed in a jug to send to me to own me.

W...T...F. pic.twitter.com/9HJF4DJ80l
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 15, 2019

But he was quickly forced to admit the hilarity of it all.

I wasn’t expecting her to really piss in a jug so bravo. And I would still drink her piss over disgusting coconut water, the Miracle Whip of beverages.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 15, 2019