Waiters Drink More Than Most People Because They Have To Hide Their True Feelings

If you’ve ever read a book or watched a move or television show about being a waiter or waitress, then you’re probably aware of some of the stereotypes about the profession. It’s often portrayed as super stressful, extremely hectic, and full of dramatic moments. And, well, in this case, the stereotypes are true. Being a waiter really is exactly like that! Another stereotype about being a server is that they tend to drink a lot. Watch a show like Sweetbitter or even something funny like Waiting, and you’ll see that restaurant crews are often seen as a kind of tiny high school where everyone just drinks and parties after their shifts.

This is also rooted in a lot of truth. Waiters and waitresses know how to party, and they will often end their shift by getting their tip money together and going out for drinks as a group. Of course, there are always going to be exceptions to this, but for the most part, it’s exactly what’s going on when the restaurant closes. But have you ever wondered why, exactly, servers drink so much? Is it really because their job is that stressful? Or is there something more going on?

Research has found the reason waiters drink more than most people… and honestly, it’s kind of sad.

The study was conducted by a team of researchers at Penn State and the University of Buffalo, and was published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology. The team looked at the link between “emotional labor” and alcohol consumption among American service workers, and found some pretty interesting, yet sad, conclusions.

It’s easy to assume that servers drink more because of the stress of the fast-paced job, but that’s not always the case.

Researchers found that employees who have to force themselves to smile and appear happy in front of customers, and who also have to routinely try to hide any feelings of frustration or annoyance, can be at risk for heavier drinking after work. Upon reading that, every server out there probably thought, “Um, yeah. No kidding.”

The researchers studied the drinking habits of people who always work for the public, like those in the food service, nursing, and teaching industries.

They found that people who have to put on a happy face and pretend like nothing is bothering them in front of the public have a tendency to engage in heavier drinking after work.

Alicia Grandey, a professor of psychology at Penn State, said, “Faking and suppressing emotions with customers was related to drinking beyond the stress of the job or feeling negatively. It wasn’t just feeling badly that makes them reach for a drink. Instead, the more they have to control negative emotions at work, the less they are able to control their alcohol intake after work.”

This isn’t the first time a study has shown a connection between service workers and alcohol issues, but it is the first time there’s a reason behind it. Grandey thinks that employees who have to fake these positive emotions are using so much self-control to appear happy and unbothered that they don’t really have much left to control their alcohol intake later on. She explained,

“Smiling as part of your job sounds like a really positive thing, but doing it all day can be draining.”

Of course, every job requires some amount of sucking it up, ignoring the negative emotions, and trying to appear totally fine. But service workers definitely have to do this in a more intense way than, say, someone just trying to come off as pleasant in front of their boss. Service workers, like waiters, have to convince all of their customers that they are truly that happy, even when the customers are being rude and inconsiderate.

Researchers pointed out that this connection also depended on the person’s own amount of self-control and the job’s extent of self-control.

They found that people who are more impulsive or lack personal control tend to drink more after work.

They also found a stronger association when it came to highly impulsive employees who worked in one-time service encounters with customers.

In other words, those who work in a restaurant or coffee shop rather than in health care or education. That’s basically waiters who only see a customer once versus a teacher who forms a relationship with students and/or parents. This could be because those in the one-time service jobs are younger and lack self-control already.

So, how can this be fixed? Grandey thinks employers may want to chill out on the whole “service with a smile” thing. She said,

“Employers may want to consider allowing employees to have a little more autonomy at work, like they have some kind of choice on the job.”

Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that this will ever happen. Servers are expected to be pleasant, friendly, outgoing, and super accommodating in every restaurant, no matter what. It doesn’t matter if a customer is rude, it doesn’t matter if they don’t feel well, and it doesn’t matter how busy they are. If they act any other way, they’ll either get in trouble with management, or they’ll get a bad tip… or, more likely, both.

If you don’t buy how difficult the job can be, take a look at social media. A lot of people talk about how tough serving is.

Being a server/waitress is so great if you like being verbally abused and underpaid!!!

— barely surviving (@Abel_Sarah1) April 7, 2019

There are some good parts to the job, like the money. But overall, it’s tough on you.

Some people think it’s tough enough to be a sport. It kind of is!

Being a server should be an extreme sport. We should compete.

— betterdistractions (@shelbylbarnard) April 8, 2019

And some people think everyone should do it at least once, so everyone can understand how tough it can be. It could definitely teach some life lessons.

If you’re a waiter, knowing about this study might help you better understand your feelings… and if you aren’t? Remember this the next time you’re tempted to be rude to your own server.