Burger King Is Getting Really, Really Desperate — And It Shows

I’m going to say this right now. I prefer Burger King over McDonald’s. I usually get shifty looks when I say it in public, but it’s true. When I was growing up, we were a Burger King household, and that has made the Whopper Jr. the ultimate perfect burger in my eyes. Just last week, my husband had to tell me that I was “talking about Burger King way too much,” in a half-joking and half-serious way. That’s where I stand. But still, it’s pretty obvious to me that the company is getting a little desperate.

In this day and age of fast food, everyone’s trying hard to find their voice. It seems like McDonald’s is still trying to be the family-friendly restaurant, especially with healthier beef and updated Happy Meals. Did you know that they don’t carry a cheeseburger Happy Meal anymore? They can still make it if you request it, but it’s technically off-menu to meet health standards for kids.

As for Burger King, it’s a struggle to squint at the menu to see if they still have kid’s meals. In fact, after firing the Burger King Kids Club, it seemed like families were no longer their top priority.

With mascots like The King, they even seemed to advertise less towards women and more towards college-aged men. And, fine. That’s okay.

However, this new gimmick that they’re offering makes it seem like they’re really just trying anything to stay in the game. It’s almost like they’re floundering in the pool, trying hard to stay relevant with a bunch of brilliant, yet half-thought-up ideas.

Burger King is now trying to deliver to cars stuck in traffic. At first glance, it seems like a great idea. But, perhaps not the most practical.

Their plan is to deliver Whoppers via motorcycle, and they created an entire ad that’s available on AdWeek. Even weirder, that ad drops an F-Bomb near the beginning, proving once and for all that they’re over the “family” angle.

“People waste up to 5 hours a day in their cars. A badass opportunity to delivery Whoppers to those hungry drivers like never before,” the ad states.

Wow. The "Traffic Jam Whopper" app from Burger King will allow us to order a burger WHILE we're stuck in a traffic jam. A kid on a motorcycle will find us and give us "whopper" while we wait. I'm working on the "Traffic Porta-Potty" app right now. pic.twitter.com/X64umOW2qW

— Bill Whyte (@bwhytecomedy) May 10, 2019

The ordering system would be supplied by real-time data. It almost seems creepy, since they can also announce when your Whopper should be arriving. Even though Burger King has surely done the tests, wouldn’t you assume this may just make traffic worse?

Burger King has actually done pretty well for themselves recently, but did suffer a bit of a drop in revenue this year.

Their parent company reported an income of $246 million, or 53 cents a share. That still seems amazing, but is a little worrisome based on their reports from last year, when they earned $278.6 million, or 59 cents a share.

Again, it doesn’t seem like much to the average consumer. But it’s a trend they’re obviously a little worried about, especially since they have such strong competition.

Reasons why @McDonalds is always going to be better than @BurgerKing .... I had to pay almost three dollars for a drink at Burger King, why eat there when you can get a large drink for a dollar at McDonald’s pic.twitter.com/pJRD6BNTYG

— corinna (@cormiczol) May 6, 2019

Hence, the reason why it seems like they’re doing so many things at once. By now, you’ve probably heard of their “Unhappy Meals” taking aim at McDonald’s.

Their goal was to raise mental health awareness. Their message was that everyone’s not happy all the time, which is really notable. And they happened to launch the meals this month, which is Mental Health Awareness month.

However, the meals struck a few people the wrong way.

For one, it wasn’t obvious as to whether or not Burger King would be donating any of their profits to an organization that supports mental health, which would have been incredible. So in some people’s eyes, they used mental health solely as a way to profit.

They also made a big move this year to tend to vegans. Now, this news is pretty cool — but it should have been enough. Burger King made plans to start offering the Impossible Burger, sold as an “Impossible Whopper.”

If you’re unaware, it’s a plant-based burger that looks and tastes exactly like beef. Even non-vegans think it’s delicious.

So, it just seems like they’re trying a little too hard to tend to everyone all at once. Instead of one very great campaign, they have a couple out there that need a bit of work.

Do you ever feel like Burger King just tries too hard?

— Claire Baker (@ClaireKBaker) April 16, 2015

People don’t need Whoppers in their car during a traffic jam. They’ve survived the traffic before.

And those in big cities know the level of traffic approximately one week after moving there. It’s healthy to plan ahead and bring some snacks if you know things are going to get rough.

I don’t know what everyone’s deal is I love Chicago traffic

— ocean’s one_N (@jena_wall) August 10, 2018

Still, I’ll always love Burger King. I just miss the way it used to be. It offered up good burgers that tasted different from other chains, and seemed to welcome customers of all ages. Hey, someone’s gotta be #2.