If you’re like most of us, you’ve been anxiously awaiting each episode of Game of Thrones in Season 8. And Lord of Light forbid you don’t watch each episode right when it releases on Sunday. Not only will you be anxious for another day — you’ll have to dodge spoilers like Jon Snow tries to dodge confrontations. Indeed, there’s nothing but GoT spoilers on the internet right now, which reminds us.
There are definitely Season 8 Episode 5 spoilers ahead!
If you’re up to date with all the action, though, you know how hectic this season is. How could it not be when the producers are cramming every single plot point into a measly six episodes? (Yes, we might be just a little bitter about this extra short season.) Not only did an IRL Starbucks cup mysteriously appear in the third episode, but the producers also snuck in another food-related Game of Thrones secret detail.
And almost every person on the internet completely missed it.
Now, if you managed to pay attention to all the minor details and deal with the fact that ALL OF KING’S LANDING is burning, you already know exactly what Varys meant during that convo with his little bird. However, if you’re like us and everyone on Twitter, you had no idea what the Master of Whispers was telling young Martha.
In fact, you probably thought Varys was just up to his old tricks.
I truly appreciate Varys’ commitment to being messy and petty. RIP to a real messy Queen. The Seven Kingdoms will never forget this icon.😔 #DemThrones #GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/CS0oJjRCXs
— Olivia L (@OliviaLayne06) May 13, 2019
Let’s be real, other than Bran (who absolutely LIVED for drama in S8E1), the bald guy might be Game of Thrones‘s messiest character. Yes, he got his act together for a little bit while helping Daenerys travel to Westeros, but remember how he plotted to kill her at the beginning of the entire series? No one can truly trust a word he says. Lord Varys isn’t messy for messiness’s sake, though.
He actually is a servant of the realm.
So when Varys thought the Mother of Dragons was the best possible person to rule on the Iron Throne, he used his tricks to help her get where she needed to be. After Tyrion tells him about Jon’s true parentage, though, all bets are off. Not only does the Spider try to convince Jon to usurp his auntie-lover, he also tries to speed up the de-throning-Dany process.
This takes us back to the Game of Thrones secret detail.
ICYMI, Varys totally tried to poison Dany at the beginning of the episode. The callbacks to season 1 are amazing:
— iLEADFARMER (@iLEADFARMER) May 13, 2019
Ned: Poison is a woman's weapon.
Pycelle: Yes. Women, cravens... and eunuchs.
Grand Maester Pycelle then mentioned Lord Varys just seconds later! 🤯#GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/TVbL2uVmdJ
That cryptic conversation Varys had with Martha was about more than just spying. In fact, the man who claimed to be Dany’s advisor wanted the young girl to slip poison in Dany’s food. Now, do you see why he was so concerned about whether or not she was eating?
If you thought Varys was checking in on the woman after her dear friend was beheaded (Missandei, you deserved so much better), you thought wrong.
Varys could care less about the so-called Breaker of Chain’s grieving period, he just wanted to know if she had her deathly drought. If only he could have tried just a little bit harder, maybe he could’ve saved all those thousands of people Drogon and Daenerys wiped out.
Now that’s not to say we’re not a little sympathetic to Dany’s situation.
In S08E01, Daenerys realizes she doesn’t have the love of the people.
— dawuuud (@leakedchamp) May 14, 2019
In S08E02, she loses her claim.
In S08E03, she loses Jorah.
In S08E04, she loses her second child, and Missandei.
In S08E05, she loses Varys, Tyrion, and Jon, through betrayal.
The girl seriously had a rough go of it. And let’s not forget how vile Viserys was. Her brother was an abusive piece of work; no doubt he scarred her. But come on, she’s a Targaryen through and through. And there’s none of that Stark blood to mellow her out.
Maybe someone should have listened when Varys tried to warn them about how dangerous Khaleesi could be.
Varys: They say when a Targaeryan is born the Gods flip a coin and the world holds its breath.
— Kacie Lucchini Butcher (@KacieLucchini) May 14, 2019
Jon: I’m not much for riddles.
Me, yelling at the TV: THATS NOT A FUCKING RIDDLE JONATHAN. #GoT pic.twitter.com/dsq8cgsK45
How did no one else predict that the power would drive her mad? Oh wait, didn’t Sansa…? Nevermind.
We’ll see what repercussions everyone’s former favorite will have to face in the final Game of Thrones episode, but in the meantime, there’s something else to think about.
All those parents who named their children Khaleesi are probably feeling pretty weird right now.
And everyone who ever doubted Varys… well it’s safe to say they feel a little guilty.
Varys is probably living his best, messiest life in the afterworld now, though. And who can blame him?
