Cool Whip Came Out With A Birthday Cake Flavor That Completely Defeats The Original

Everyone’s birthday just came early because Cool Whip introduced a new flavor to their Mix-Ins line, and it’s definitely going to be your new favorite. Forget the old Cool Whip you know and love, and welcome Birthday Cake Cool Whip to the party.

Kraft Heinz has not yet confirmed if Cool Whip Mix-Ins Birthday Cake is headed to a frozen aisle near us any time soon. But junk food reviewer, @thejunkgoat, got their hands on a tub at their local Schnucks supermarket. “Cool Whip birthday cake!!! Seen it here first folks!!!” @thejunkgoat captioned their April 6th Instagram post. “This is 10/10 Cool Whip has just became [sic] the goat!”

@thejunkgoat also shared an image of what the Birthday Cake Cool Whip actually looks like. We’ll be honest — it doesn’t look super appetizing. The pink color is a bit too fleshy/chewed bubblegum-y for our liking. However, the rainbow sprinkles are super cute and look like they’ll add a nice crunch to every bite.

It seems like we don’t actually need a vessel to transport our Cool Whip from table to mouth anymore. Pies, cakes, and other sweet treats just became obsolete. Grab us a spoon, will you? We’re eating this stuff right out of the tub.

See what we mean? This stuff kind of looks like Patrick Star in the dead of winter — pale pink AF.

“I did some researching and found images online as well,” @junkfoodmom wrote on her Instagram after seeing @thejunkgoat’s post. “Sooo curious… is it this dark color pink? Are the sprinkles mixed in? Keep your eyes open in the frozen aisles and let me know! I’m on the hunt.”

Despite its iffy appearance, people are seemingly on board with Birthday Cake Cool Whip. We can only assume it tastes just like a vanilla cake, or perhaps vanilla cake frosting.

Hello my new treat for Lunch/Dessert/Snack/Dinner/Midnight Snack/Because it's raining/Because it's sunny 😍https://t.co/Jx9zB6BJfL

— Jessica Alsman (@jnalsman) April 9, 2019

What if you frosted actual birthday cake with Birthday Cake Cool Whip? Now that would be genius.

They have birthday cake cool whip. 😍😍😍😍😍

— 🧁 Amber 🍟 (@Yahtzee27) April 9, 2019

But TBH, you could really dip anything into this stuff and make it taste 10 times better. Strawberries? Oh heck yes.

Doo strawberries and cool whip count as dinner?? Asking for a friend

— colbs 🖤 (@__nicoosuave) January 29, 2018

Dude? Dude!

Dude!

— Brooke Lee - Author (@brookeleeauthor) April 9, 2019

Come to us, Cool Whip. We are ready to be blessed by your sweetness.

@LordBakington STICK IT IN MY MOUTH! Also, the Cool Whip. pic.twitter.com/EIjJIO0leZ

— Crimsonicity (@Crimsonicity) April 8, 2019

If you live by a Schnucks, we highly recommend you go scan the frozen aisle. You might be in for a pleasant surprise.

In 2018, Cool Whip also debuted an Oreo Mix-Ins flavor. It was basically an entire tub filled with Oreo creme and bits of Oreo cookie.

Around the same time Cool Whip Oreo hit the frozen aisle, the company also gifted us with Double Chocolate Brownie Mix-Ins. We don’t know what we did to deserve all that goodness, but we took it without question.

Our “eating Cool Whip like ice cream” habit is officially out of control. And Birthday Cake Cool Whip isn’t helping to quell our appetite.

“Eat like ice cream” the Cool Whip container says. Apparently all I ever needed was an invitation! pic.twitter.com/BRiGS3eLj1

— Rachel Dull (@obriieane) April 5, 2019

But imagine if that was Birthday Cake Cool Whip. You wouldn’t even need the waffle, in our opinion.

Am I eating chocolate with syrup and cool whip? Or am I eating waffles? 😋 pic.twitter.com/DzTeqngADf

— ℜ𝔦𝔰𝔫𝔬𝔯 @𝓜𝓕𝓕 @𝚅𝚁𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚝 (@RisnorWolf) April 3, 2019

Cool Whip may have done the public a huge favor by introducing their Birthday Cake Mix-Ins. But what if no one wants to eat regular Cool Whip anymore? What if the original Cool Whip becomes obsolete?

Yeah, sorry. You’re right. That will never happen.

Scan your local freezer aisles for Cool Whip Mix-Ins Birthday Cake. But beware — once you Birthday Cake Cool Whip, you may never go back.