Men Who Eat Junk Food Should Be Worried About This One Effect On Their Bodies

The news that junk food isn’t healthy isn’t exactly, well, news. But a new study has identified one very specific way it could be harming people with male reproductive systems. Researchers at Harvard University noted that the average sperm count has been declining in the West for a few decades, at about the same time as our diets have, as they put it, “decreased in quality,” switching out fresh foods and whole grains for processed products.

To find out if there was a correlation between our dinners and our swimmers, they looked at the semen quality, reproductive hormones, so-called “lifestyle choices,” and diets of 2,935 healthy young Danish men who had presented themselves for a mandatory medical exam before entering army service, between 2008 and 2017. We’re talking super young (i.e. prime fertile years). The average age of the men in the study, according to the Independent, was 19. The researchers divided the men’s diets into four patterns: the Western, the Prudent, the Smørrebrød, and the Vegetarian.

*Untested hypothesis.

The Western diet involved such tasty, tasty trash as pizza, processed and red meat, high energy drinks, and sweets.

Those on the Prudent diet were eating fish and chicken, fruit and vegetables, and water.

The Smørrebrød diet included cold meats and fish, whole grains, condiments including mayo, and other dairy products.

And if that sounds like someone is just eating lots of sandwiches, note that “smørrebrød” means “sandwiches” in Danish!

Eating a sandwich on a baguette always seems like a good idea until you're gnawing at it like you're a cartoon dog in a junkyard

— Dana Schwartz - on hiatus (@DanaSchwartzzz) June 27, 2019

And finally, there was the Vegetarian diet, which you can guess at, although they characterized this as meaning vegetables, soy milk, and eggs.

So what did they find?

Well, as you may have guessed, the Western diet came out on the bottom. Those who followed the Western diet most closely had a lower sperm count than those who avoided it: an average of about 25.6 million lower. When you consider that a “normal” sperm count is 15 million to 200 million, that’s not an easy loss to write off.

Meanwhile, the men who closely followed the Prudent diet had a higher sperm count than men who barely followed it: a median of 42.8 million higher. But one Twitter user could have told you that already:

If we fucking you gotta be on birth control or something because I drink wayyy too much water and eat way to much fruit ...plus I exercise regularly I’m liable to be creating triplets with my sperm count

— 2WI$E (@Reggietoowise_) May 23, 2019

Of course, Twitter didn’t overreact AT ALL:

Not even a little bit…

Aside from predicting the extinction of the species, Twitter’s favorite response to studies about junk food and fertility is with judgemental, dubious science. Observe these previous efforts:

“Happy button,” the technical term.

“Science.”

Sometimes we also get unsolicited advice:

Riding bikes, tight underwears, and high belly fat along with eating junk food reduce your healthy sperm count.

— Sajjad (@opd56) October 2, 2017

Or philosophical debates:

So if junk food lowers sperm count there will be fewer junk food eating kids?

— Joe King (@JoeKingNow) June 27, 2019

And inventive interpretations:

We need to stop with the stereotypes. Western diet is making people sick, not weight, not a bit of weed or vaping. It just isnt getting through to supposed experts, even commenting on this research "give up the weed, cut down on the alcohol, forget about nicotine for a while." https://t.co/kiL5LgIbsp

— mycosys (@mycosys) June 25, 2019

Meanwhile, others are in denial:

New study: fried chicken and junk food lowers your sperm count

Newer study(by me, just now): you're full of shit!

— El Santo Negro (@Sporticuslive) June 26, 2019

But there is a bright side to this news.

First of all, the study authors acknowledged that they found a correlation, not definitive proof, that junk food definitely caused the decreasing sperm counts. And secondly, it might not be permanent. Urologist Dr. Bobby Najari told Men’s Health that the study hasn’t looked into the mechanisms of how junk food in your diet could affect sperm count, which means that it could be reversible. But for now, if you’re trying to make some mini versions of yourself, consider trading your fried food for fruit.