Avoiding the Mother-In-Law Kitchen Fight 101

The holidays bring visitors and maybe your mother-in-law isn’t your favorite one. You try harder every year to find peace with this woman. You’ve been answering her phone calls more often throughout the year and even FaceTiming her with the kids every month. However, when she invades your kingdom of stainless steel kitchenware, spices, and home decor, that you’ve spent years perfecting with criticism; shit gets real. I understand your frustration and I hope I can help with these tips.

1.) Drink, responsibly.

Was this tip too soon? Well, it’s necessary. You should enter this situation relaxed. With a steady and mild alcohol content percentage, your reactions will be slightly delayed. Therefore most of her absurd comments won’t make it to your earlobes. Offer her a drink as well and toast (and hope) for the best holiday dinner to date.

2.) Say No.

I’m sure she will press your buttons with passive-aggressive pouts. But, do not get low and meet her at these low-level antics. Don’t surrender and give her passive aggressive reactions. Politely tell that woman N-O. No, she can’t rearrange your kitchen cabinets. No, she can’t change the schedule of dinner arrangements and no you do not care what she thinks of your hair. Don’t let her take control. If she gets mad, oh well. Whose kitchen is it? That’s right.

3.) Show some respect for her recipes.

Allow her to have some input on the menu. This is her family and the highlight of her year. Even if her green beans are swimming in salt water and you can feel your body starting to swell in odd areas after the first bite, just eat a tiny portion and scoot the rest to the side of your plate. Keep a glass of water by your side too.  Let your children address the elephant in the room and blurt out, “Grandma are these mashed potatoes or white soup?”  Speaking of children, let’s get to the next tip.

4.) Let your kids climb up her back and run off with her glasses a few times.

This distraction is what you need. If the kids are constantly draining her attention, she probably won’t feel like cooking anymore. Stay in your kitchen and out of sight. These are her grandkids, which means she’s raised kids before and should be fine with handling them on her own. If you’re lucky (and your kids are wild enough) your monster-in-law’s, “I might extend my stay” mentions will turn into “I’m fine with being dropped off at the airport early.”

5.) Compromise with a new recipe.

You’re not an evil wife, so don’t let her turn you into one. Try to compromise with her reference different dishes and recipes. There’s a ton of cookbooks and food trends being released every holiday season. Offer a new dish that you both could cook together. This will create a memory that only you and her share. Yes, bond with the bitch. This will also make the holiday dinner seem less typical; new dishes will add excitement.

6.) Think about your husband

And hopefully why you still love him. If it wasn’t for her then there wouldn’t be him. Apparently, she can do some things right because she raised and nurtured your soulmate. And to continue, if it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t have these precious children that are simultaneously driving you crazy and inspiring you every day. The facts here are: the holidays wouldn’t be the same without this monster-in-law, and there’s a reason to celebrate the holiday because of her. Keep those thoughts subconsciously in your mind and get through these holiday weeks confrontation free.