The Way Servers Take Orders From Women Is Changing, Big Time

If you don’t frequent fine dining restaurants all that often, you might not have noticed that women are usually served first. According to the Court of Master Sommeliers, all women get served their water and beverages first, and then the order goes clockwise. Sure, it’s a nice tradition — but it’s also a little outdated. And one restaurant in particular wants to change things up.

According to Eater, Chicago’s Tied House, which opened this year, feels as if the “ladies first” practice needs a bit of a revamp. But some people don’t see an issue with this type of treatment.

One of the best things about french restaurants that they really do serve ladies first 😀 #fact

— Shahd (@tiripStrong) July 17, 2012

London restaurants, whatever happened to serving the ladies first? I know it's all about equality, but all's not fair in love and hunger.

— Honey de Gracia MCIM (@girlnextshore) July 11, 2016

Very true. I never see guys pulling chairs out in restaurants anymore. They don't wait for her to sit first anymore. It's just so noticeable to me. I wasn't raised that that way. Always ladies first.

— ❎ J. P.❎ (@Hobbyshoptech) August 19, 2018

There’s a way to be courteous and professional without using assumed gender. Furthermore, they’ve also stopped referring to guests as either ladies or gentleman, showing a progressive move forward.

This is your friendly reminder that if you work as a cashier or server to greet folks with gender-neutral language unless you know them.

— TS Butch Queen (@Timamusson) November 26, 2018

Hey if you’re a server, just try using gender neutral terms. Like y’all! folks! Everybody! It goes a long way instead of just saying ladies 😬!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— Taylor🌿 (@taylor_keaton) June 5, 2018

When I’m serving/ tending bar, I almost always use ‘hon’ in place of a gendered honorific term. It’s definitely never caused me any trouble, but I do wish there was a more respectful (?) gender-neutral word I could use.

— franken-tits (@dr_wormm) July 25, 2018

All in all, they’re one of the many restaurants that’s becoming gender-neutral, and it’s a good way to be. Not only may the antiquated rules make guests feel alienated if they identify as something different, but it puts everyone on an equal ground.

Etiquette that once seemed polite and courteous decades ago can almost read as being insulting today. Men and women are all at a restaurant for the same reason — to sample delicious, well-crafted food, regardless of their gender.

Many places are now aiming to focus on the seat while implementing which way to process an order, and not who’s in it. Eater reports that prior to, an “F” was often assigned to a seat number to help servers identify which plate needed to be put out first, and who ordered what. Now, many places are just solely relying on seat number. For example, chair 1 will get served before chair 2.

It might not seem like a big step forward if you’ve never worked at an upscale restaurant, but it’s a huge deal to those who’ve been trained in restaurant etiquette. It’s showing that even though the past system might have worked in getting food out, it just isn’t the best way to continue food service in 2018.

Interested in learning more how we can make our restaurants feel more inclusive and less constrained to gender roles? Check out this Yelp feature that shows you where you can find a restaurant with gender-neutral bathrooms. It’s a promising start.