The Horoscope for What You Shouldn’t Eat This Week

Let’s try something new. It’s never too late to make a small change. Since we’re farther away from the first of the year and the pressure to start a strict diet has faded, why not give this a chance? Find your sign to see your first step. 

Aquarius

(January 20-February 18)

No more Ice Cream for you, Aquarius. As much as you love your cookie dough and rocky road, it’s time for a break. If you think you can make it to week two, keep going.

Alternative: Greek Yogurt

Pisces

(February 19-March 20)

Sorry, Pisces. Sugary Cereals are off limits this week. Pick up your Froot Loops and Cinnamon Toast Crunch and toss them out the window.

Alternative: Smoothie Bowls

Aries

(March 21-April 19)

Aries, buddy, it’s time. Your Fruit Juice and Energy Drinks need to pack it up and move it out.

Alternative: Tea

Taurus

(April 20-May 20)

Are you kidding me, Taurus? One of the first things to go should be your Soda habit. You stop drinking those killers and you’ll not only feel better but your teeth will thank you, too!

Alternative: Sparkling water

Gemini

(May 21-June 20)

No more “quick and easy” meals for you, Gemini. Frozen Meals are out this year and fresh home cooking is in.

Alternative: Reinvented Comfort Foods including Buffalo Cauliflower Wings

Cancer

(June 21-July 22)

Don’t make me laugh, Cancer. We both know what Cheese does to you. Cutting this dairy product out could mean a whole new world for you. That, or it could be the challenge you have been waiting for.

Alternative: Cashew cheese

Leo

(July 23-August 22)

I’m going to get right to it, Leo. Pizza is a goner. Adios. Sayonara. Buh-bye!

Alternative: Chicken and spinach calzone

Virgo

(August 23-September 22)

Don’t you get salty with me, Virgo, you know Potato Chips bring you nothing but greasy fingers.

Alternative: Dried fruit snacks

Libra

(September 23-October 22)

Nope. I don’t want to hear it, Libra. Cut the cord. You can do this. It’s only a week. It has to go. Alcohol, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Alternative: Water

Scorpio

(October 23-November 21)

If anyone can do this, it’s you, Scorpio. Eliminating anything like Bread for a week is like riding a bike for you.

Alternative: Lettuce wraps

Sagittarius

(November 22-December 21)

Breathe with me. In. Out. Good. I hate to be the one to give you this news, Sagittarius, but you need to show Milk Chocolate the door.

Alternative: Dark chocolate

Capricorn

(December 22-January 19)

Capricorn, Fast Food has got to go. You can’t keep living off of that stuff. Team up with a Gemini and you’ll get through this together.

Alternative: Meatless Monday recipes including Vegan Burger Patties

The challenge is on. Do you think you can make it a week without eating a certain food?