This Mom Actually Tried Gwyneth Paltrow’s Detox Diet, And The Results Are #Relatable

Somewhere in between goat milk cleanses and vaginal steaming, Gwyneth Paltrow has managed to become the wellness guru of the millennial generation. Just ask any of the millions of people who religiously follow GOOP, the actress’s lifestyle brand and blog. And while GOOP has been hard at work publishing books and opening stores and selling $400 fireplace sets, it’s difficult to forget about the company’s intense (and often, controversial) detox recommendations.

Needless to say, GOOP is no stranger to scrutiny from the media.

But for Chrissy Stephens, a Chicago-based writer and mother of three, GOOP’s most recent detox diet doubled as the perfect chance to have a good laugh (and to see what it’s really like to follow what Gwyneth’s GOOP recommends).

According to an article on Radar Online, Stephens tried GOOP’s latest five-day detox and documented the entire experience on her Instagram account, @theonlybody. The result? Questionable recipes, LOL moments, and one long Whole Foods receipt that looks like something out of CVS.

Nugget from NYT Magazine story on Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop: Conde Nast and Goop magazine parted ways because Conde Nast editors insisted on fact-checking "wellness" claims. "G.P. didn’t understand the problem." https://t.co/lkdrHqlSE5

— Kim Painter (@KimPainter) July 25, 2018

Yes lol. Have to say I don’t care for Gwyneth but love Goop.... and totally aware that some of Goop is complete bullshit and ridic $$$

— nightowldiji (@nightowldiji) January 17, 2019

My problem with Goop & Gwyneth Paltrow is women have enough of a hard time getting accurate, non-judgemental information about their own reproductive health as it is. What they don't need is a snake-oil charlatan selling them crap.

— Laura Chapin (@LauraChapin) July 30, 2018

Gwyneth Paltrow's misguided GOOP website is a symptom of a much more serious problem, Anne Kingston says: https://t.co/te8mxm2QPp

— Maclean’s Magazine (@macleans) July 24, 2017

Incredible @NYTmag story on Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow and the problem of too much wellness https://t.co/y4fRsH0ieC

— blake richardson (@rblakerich_) July 26, 2018

The new issue of GOOP is centered around a $425, 21-day cleanse that Gwyneth Paltrow recommends to "lose a few pounds."

— Matt Cherette (@mattchew03) January 5, 2012

“Here is me doing my meal prep and displaying my Whole Foods receipt for $216.96,” said Stephens on Instagram, who took a selfie with the hilariously long piece of paper. “Also I spent $9.98 on cauliflower so that gives you a good idea where this is heading.”

Over the next five days, Stephens shared her thoughts on both the recipes and how she felt. And if we’re being honest, her commentary is as relatable as it gets.

Not only did the mom depict how expensive one such detox diet is — she also demonstrated just how unglamorous such a diet can be when you don’t have a professional chef to prepare Instagram-worthy plates for you.

Her overall thoughts:

Detox diets and Gwyneth Paltrow aside, all that matters is that you are healthy and happy. Before starting a new diet, make sure to talk to your doctor about what will be best for you.