Things You Should Never, Ever Tell Someone Who Is Dieting

Now that the New Year is finally here, many of us are committing to health-related resolutions like going on a diet. Not only is dieting a way to shed those pesky pounds gained during the holiday season (note: every body is different, so if you’re not seeing these results, it’s okay! Talk to your doctor), but eating healthier in general can boost your energy, motivation, and self-esteem in the year ahead. However, if you don’t have “go on a diet” on your New Year’s resolution list, here are a few things to avoid saying to those who do.

One of our New Year’s resolutions is to be more supportive of our loved ones in everything they do and aspire to, and that includes encouraging those who wish to diet in 2019. Perhaps we subconsciously shame people for dieting because of our sheer guilt that we’re not treating our bodies as healthy as they are. Or maybe we fear that our friends who want to diet have a poor self-image and we try to build them up by saying things that aren’t necessarily flattering or necessary.

Rather than dropping our own opinions onto our friends and family who are ready to embark on a health journey, let’s shower them with positive vibes. You can do this. We know you’ll reach your goal. You’re going to feel great by the end of the year. But please, for the sake of your friends’ sanities, refrain from saying the following.

1. “But you’re so skinny!”

Even though you probably mean this as a compliment, you have no idea if the person in question is actually dieting to get “skinny.” They might be choosing a diet in order to put on weight, build muscle, or just treat their body better than they have been. Dieting is not synonymous with being skinny, so let’s not continue to play into this myth.

2. “You don’t need to lose weight.”

Again, going on a diet isn’t necessarily about losing weight. Committing to healthier foods is beneficial for everyone, regardless of size, shape, or weight. It’s not really any of your business why this person has decided to diet, so don’t assume it’s because they think they should drop a couple pounds.

3. “Starving yourself isn’t worth it.”

If on the right path, dieting is not about starving oneself. In fact, depending on the end goal, it can actually mean a myriad of things. A diet could be incredibly structured with set meal times and preplanned portions of proteins, carbs, and veggies at each sitting. Or, it could simply be a personal transition from eating junky, processed foods to more wholesome ingredients. It all depends on the person and their definition of “diet.”

4. “Take it from me — diets don’t work.”

Yeah, maybe the one diet you tried five years ago didn’t work because of X, Y, and Z. Maybe you weren’t fully committed, didn’t have the motivation, and perhaps lacked a support system. Maybe the diet wasn’t right for your body. However, this diet for this person could be a complete success. They won’t know until they try and your opinions shouldn’t have anything to do with their decision-making process.

5. “Are you trying to get a beach body?”

Dieting has nothing to do with “getting a beach body,” because every body is a beach body. Duh!

6. “Come on, one cookie isn’t going to break you.”

If your friend has really devoted themselves to a healthier lifestyle, don’t be a bad influence and push them to break their own rules. You have no idea if they’ll mentally beat themselves up for wavering from the path. And if they have practiced good restraint up until this point, it’s none of your business trying to push them off track. Remember, their diet doesn’t affect you in any way.

7. “Don’t think you can get me to diet with you.”

Unless they outwardly ask you to partake in a healthier lifestyle with them, don’t assume this person is pushing their dieting views onto you. For the most part, the decision to diet is a personal one and all your friend needs is for you to support them emotionally. No one is better than anyone else in this situation, so just take a seat.

8. “I’ve never had to diet, so don’t ask me for advice.”

Choosing to diet is also not a way of admitting defeat. Again, no one is better than anyone else. If you’ve never “had to” or tried a diet before, then that’s fine. You can simply say that you have no experience in dieting, however, you wish this person all the best and hope they achieve their goal.

9. “I personally think you look better at your current weight.”

A person’s decision to go on a new diet usually has nothing to do with anyone else’s opinion. And if it does, then perhaps they’re still lacking the support system they need to feel amazing about themselves. Rather than saying you prefer them at a certain size, tell your friend that you love them and find them beautiful no matter what. Their decision to change up their diet is a great one as long as it makes them feel great about themselves.

10. “I hope you’ll still be fun to hang out with.”

This is just not encouraging in the least. This is simply a selfish request that your friend will “still be fun” even though they’ve shifted their eating habits, or ~god forbid~ gave up drinking for awhile. In fact, your friend may be even more fun to hang out with because they’ll be happier, healthier, and more energetic than ever before.

11. “Are you really going to eat that?”

Healthy foods are sometimes not at the top of everyone’s favorite foods list. However, if your pal puts a kale salad on the dinner table, don’t scoff or wrinkle your nose at it. You don’t have to eat it, so keep your opinions to yourself.

12. “Have you tried the [insert fad diet here]? I heard it’s pretty dangerous.”

Chances are, the person in question is not trying that whacked-out soy sauce cleanse and call that a diet plan. If they are, then an intervention may be needed. Rather than scare a friend out of committing to a healthy and wholesome new eating habit, ask them about what methods they are going to try out and approach the topic with an open mind.

13. “Just skip dessert.”

Sure, skipping dessert may be the key to somebody’s success. However, for others, this is much easier said than done. If a person is in need of an entire eating-habit overhaul, then just skipping dessert isn’t going to do much to make them feel better. Practice the “you do you” mentality and don’t give your recommendations when they’re not wanted.

14. “Didn’t you try a diet last year? And didn’t it not work?”

This is a great way to make a person feel like a total failure. Even if last year’s diet didn’t work, your friend may have discovered another routine that fits their lifestyle much better. This year’s diet excursion might just be the one that sticks, so who are you to remind them of their failed trials?

15. “Don’t become anorexic.”

Come on — do we even have to tell you not to say that? Firstly, “becoming anorexic” and dieting are obviously not the same thing. Someone doesn’t become anorexic from picking up a healthy diet. Anorexia is an eating disorder related to mental health. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of anorexia such as extreme weight loss, food denial, eating in private, and other symptoms listed here, contact the National Eating Disorder helpline at 1-800-931-2237.

Dieting can and is really great for certain people. Making a shift into a healthier lifestyle can change one’s attitude about their image, self-worth, and outlook on life. Keep your negative opinions to yourself, or better yet, turn those negative thoughts into encouraging words. To all those picking up a healthy diet in 2019, we believe in you.