Become an Instant Chef Without Breaking A Sweat

Allow me to briefly share a story about the day I became aware of three problems in my life. My now ex-boyfriend had invited his parents to dinner at our house, with very late notice. He knew damn well I couldn’t cook but I didn’t panic, I immediately went to the grocery store. Here’s how it went.

There was no time to stress about making Patti Labelle’s mac and cheese recipe correctly. I purchased already-cooked items from the store and had everyone believing I missed my calling as a chef.

Here I will share with you my “Fake It” tips for this roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, and raspberry cheesecake dinner.

1. Roasted Chicken

Ready-to-eat roasted chicken can be found in the hot food section.

Fake it: First, I placed the chicken in a skillet. Then I garnished the chicken with lemon slices and rosemary. To keep the flavor inside while roasting most cooks tie the legs of the chicken together. Yep, I faked that part too by placing a string around the legs of the chicken. Lastly, I reheated the chicken by placing it in the oven and purposely timing it to finish when his parents arrived. The aroma was enticing.

2. Mashed Potatoes & Gravy

These mashed potatoes were found in the refrigerated section, by packaged produce.

The potatoes and gravy are ready-to-eat, however, they do need to be warmed.

Fake it: I warmed the mashed potatoes in a pot, stirring consistently for a great whipped texture. Then I placed them in a fancy bowl and garnished with chives and butter.

3. Raspberry Cheesecake

Plain cheesecakes were found in the frozen dessert section. Raspberries were in the fruit section.

Fake it: The cheesecake came frozen, therefore I gave it time to thaw out. Luckily dessert comes last. I garnished the cheesecake with raspberries, a little leftover rosemary and I placed it on a nice platter for the perfect presentation.

The most important part about faking a cooked dinner is hiding the evidence. I made sure all of the packaging and receipts were disposed of in the trash can outside.

Let us circle back to the three things I learned  that day:

1.) I needed to grow up and learn how to cook.

2.) I’m a great liar.

3.) I didn’t like that family. I guess that day of lies brought out some truth.