The first rule of fast food is don’t talk about what your fast food is *actually* made of. Although many fast food chains claim to use fresh, never frozen, beef and “real eggs,” we can’t be too certain what lies beneath that crispy, fried coating. However, for the most part, fast food can generally be classified as food. But alas — one KFC customer was served a fried dish rag, and the concept of “mystery meat” has been taken too far.
On March 1st, Reddit user u/gatorade372 shared a shocking social media post to the r/shittyfoodporn subreddit and captioned it “KFC stepping up their game.” The post contains two images of a fried blue dish rag. *Shiver.*
The original post was shared on Facebook sometime in 2018 and has been making the rounds on other platforms since. It depicts a disturbing and seemingly true story of deception, hunger, and loss. At least the person who originally posted the sad news thought it was “f—ing amazing.”
We have too many questions.
How does a bright blue dish rag end up getting breaded and fried? Didn’t anyone on the line notice one of those things is not like the other?
Did the unlucky person who was served the dish rag get their money back?
We’re sad, ashamed, and need a minute to gain our composure. Please hold.
How dare you make a funny joke at a time like this?
It’s much too punny for a catastrophe such as this one.
Not funny. Not one bit.
What I heard is someone quit mid shift. Guess you could say they threw in the towel
— Observer (@daniel_doubler) February 26, 2019
Since being posted to Reddit on March 1st, the haunting images have received over 5,500 upvotes and just under 200 comments.
People are pissed off.
And we don’t blame them.
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
Is this one of those posts that hexes all of our future KFC meals if we don’t share with 10 friends? We can’t risk it.
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
Please. Someone tell us this is a joke — for the love of Colonel Sanders!
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
Sadly, this isn’t the only foreign object that has been found in a fresh box of tenders. Someone else found a latex glove.
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
Our hearts are broken. RIP “last giant piece of chicken they were saving for last.”
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
The meal could still be salvaged, one Reddit user argued. Just add Ranch.
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
Maybe the employee thought they were doing customers a favor. It’s a bad idea, but the intention was good.
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
Or perhaps this was just a poor attempt at a new “vegetarian” option. Again — bad idea, good intention.
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
This is truly a kitchen nightmare. Bring in the big guns.
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
And then call in the other big guns to deal with this Nasty Patty. SpongeBob, where you at?
Comment
byu/gatorade372 from discussion
inshittyfoodporn
In our quest to locate where the image originated from, we stumbled upon another KFC dish rag dilemma from 2014. A mother in Newcastle, England took to the press when she found a batter-encased blue paper towel in her son’s meal.
“The blue roll could have been used for anything,” she told the Daily Mail, “it could have bleach or disinfectant on it… Had someone wiped their hands on it, had it been used to wipe the floor?”
Please, KFC. We beg of you. Stop this madness or forever be haunted by the ghost of Colonel Sanders.
Please.
