All The Ways Fast Food Workers Take Revenge On Awful Customers

August 13, 2019

You never know when you will become one of those hated customers.

We’ve all witnessed the entitled, rude, or just plain-out annoying clients who drive any restaurant’s staff out of their mind.

There’s a special place in hell for crappy customers, and if you’ve ever worked a service job you know this is more than true. Not to mention the fact that many service workers are underpaid, overworked, and on their feet all day.

It behooves you — and the quality and safety of your food — to be nice, keep your mouth shut (except for compliments) and tip well. Seriously.

But just in case you’re curious what these restaurant staff do to hellish customers and their food, we rounded up some of the best from Reddit.

And we know what’s on Reddit is the whole truth — because you have nothing to lose when you’re anonymous.

Bon appetit….sort of!?

Act like a jerk, and your waitstaff will load your food with oil.

Because it makes you go to the bathroom.

Not only is this revenge trick gross, it’s potentially dangerous. We all know that too much oil or grease can cause major health issues! And while it’s a laughing matter for the staffer, causing health issues for a crappy customer is not the best idea. Especially because diarrhea can be dangerous. And gross.

You will be seriously inconvenienced, too.

They’ll make everything that much harder.

This staffer has the right idea: Be as annoying as humanly possible so that your customer HAS to ask for more ketchup or more soda or more of anything. There’s nothing like having your meal 99% ready to eat…but not having enough, say, hot sauce. This is psychological warfare right here!

They will make all your food…all wrong.

Uneven pizza anyone?

Poorly slice pizza? Check. Not enough toppings? Yup. Food that comes out too late? You bet. These are the tell-tale signs that an employee has had enough of your antics. Next time, be nice — or you’ll live with the fate of being served unevenly sliced pizza with sparse toppings. Is there anything worse than a messed up pizza? We think not.

They’ll “forget” the “Barbie table” in your pizza.

PS: Remember the Barbie table?

If you were ever a child who played with Barbies, you probably got the three-legged table from your parents’ pizza boxes…and turned it into a tiny Barbie table. Because kids’ brains are amazing. But when you’re an adult who orders pizza, that Barbie table prevents the roof of the box from touching the pizza and messing up all the cheese. MAJOR BURN, Barbie table-less pizza!

They’ll mess with your change.

By giving loads of it to you.

No one wants a handful of smelly, dirty pennies, right? That’s exactly what the restaurant staffer KNOWS when you’re an annoying customer. So, if you’re rude, and you’re getting change — be prepared to get it in pennies and nickels. How utterly and lovingly convenient. Money’s money, right?

Oh, you’d like more ice?

Yeahhhhh, you’re not getting it.

It seems like ‘petty’ is the name of the game when it comes to customer revenge stories. And we all know pettiness is even worse than getting gross food. There’s just something so grating about someone doing something that they know will bother you to the depths of your core. MORE ICE PLEASE? Nope. 

Or you’ll get WAY TOO MUCH.

So that you’re swimming in condiments! Muahaha!

There’s only so much you can do to the customers who make your life a living hell. Of course, you do something massively and obviously egregious and you risk getting fired…so why not just do something so perfectly annoying that it probably doesn’t warrant another glance? Like giving your annoying customer so much sauce that they drown in it! For more glorious condiment banter, go here. 

And then things get serious.

Floor-spiced toppings, anyone?

All you need to know was said right here, no further explanation necessary: “I made sure to drop most of the toppings all over the floor and then put some old toppings I found in the bottom of the cooler on her pizza. Never heard about that customer again. You don’t f***with fast food workers that don’t get paid enough to deal with your s***.”

Crappy customer? Maybe you’ll get the cashier’s phone number.

So they can tell you off.

In this classic employee revenge story, a terrible customer screamed at an employee…and got what they deserve: The “manager’s phone number” aka the phone number of the employee who they’d pissed off. It’s childish. It’s probably grounds for firing. And it’s definitely a way to lose a customer. But, hey, we love it.

Be prepared to get charged more if you suck.

Nice people get money off.

If you’re nice, you’ll get a discount. If you’re not, you’re paying more. Period. Being nice pays off, especially when you want to avoid those extra 50 cent charges for that bacon you love so much. In short, say your “please” and thank yous,” smile, and offer a “how are you?” You’ll save mula and make someone happy.

You like vintage wine?

What about vintage patties?

When you’re an arsehole of a customer, you get what you ask for — and that can include really, really, really old gross food. Food that maybe, just maybe, has gone off or has even been expired. You never really know. If you want patties that aren’t a health hazard, be nice to your wait staff, folks.

Rude? You may just get a discount…

A senior discount, that is.

Now, we’re not ageist at all here at So Yummy, but we do find it sort of funny that someone would use a “senior discount” as a revenge tool. It probably worked, too, since people tend to be both protective and self-conscious about their age. Ouch. But hey,  that’s the first time we heard about someone getting a discount for being a jerk.

The award for grossest revenge ever…

Goes to the farting waiter.

If you’re rude, you risk getting the farting waiter — the waiter who comes over and saves it for you. How lovely. Seriously, this is probably the grossest revenge ever, even worse than the floor-spiced toppings. Because the last thing anyone wants is a feces-filled ambiance. Not cool, farting waiter. Not cool!

Sometimes, when you’re a jerk, the writing is on the wall.

Or on your sandwich, that is.

This is a very clever way of getting revenge, we have to say. Big time creative points go to this employee, who writes mean messages onto their customer’s bread. Imagine lifting up your bread to see “Eat shit” written on the bun in the sauce? Even you, the rude customer, would have to give kudos to that.

In the end, you should be nice to anyone who is waiting on you — not just to avoid a spit-n-serve or a handful of pennies — but because kindness is rare.

Seriously, we know it sounds cheesy…..but kindness goes a long way.

Humanity is already pretty awful, right? We’re all mean to each other — everywhere, all the time, and sometimes over nothing. It doesn’t serve us to be mean to the people who are simply doing a job — and probably getting paid very little for it.

As the mantra goes: Be the bigger person, avoid getting farted on.