If you’ve ever ventured into a McDonald’s or Burger King late at night or during an off day, you might discover, oh, say, a dead mouse in your coffee (R.I.P. little guy!) or actual gun bullets in your freaking hot dog. You know, the usual.
While some of these stories cannot be verified (and should not all be taken as gospel), they have entered into the many disgusting myths and legends that go unverified about fast food. Some of them even resurface from time to time just to haunt our dreams forevermore.
Articles about fast food nightmares do no good for the public consciousness, making us paranoid, grossed out, and nauseated. But let’s get serious — we’re all morbidly curious about the sort of horribly frightening things that other people have had to eat. As long as a cockroach isn’t baked into our buns, we’re good to go.
And look, if you find something in your food, never underestimate the value of speaking to a lawyer. Don’t settle for a free meal! Biting into a condom or a tooth is NOT something you need to endure — without at least getting paid the big bucks for having to freaking deal with it.
Ever just crave a Band-Aid? Yeah, us neither. The thing is, they wind up in our food from time to time for gosh knows what horrific reason. Apparently, a nice Canadian family found a used Band-Aid in their McDonald’s fries. They filed a lawsuit against the fast food giant, saying they basically got super sick on the spot. And who wouldn’t?
2. Human Flesh
If you never leave your house again, we won’t blame you. According to stories, a Miami man popped into Arby’s when he discovered skin on his chicken sandwich. I’m not sure how one distinguishes between chicken and human skin — perhaps it’s more obvious than I think — but he said it was about three inches long. Apparently — wait for it — the manager cut his finger earlier that day.
3. A Finger
In 2005, police spoke with a woman who claimed she found a finger in her bowl of Chili’s soup. In a bizarre and frankly hilarious twist, it was found that the human finger belonged to a man in Nevada, who had given it to the woman’s husband so that she could find it. The goal? To make money. We won’t even ask how that conversation went down or how the man chopped his digit.
4. An Industrial Sponge
In one of those “fried chicken fast-food places,” a customer reported that she’d found one of those gritty sponges — referred to as a “green industrial scouring pad” — in her sandwich. Like, instead of the chicken. Absolutely and totally unacceptable, and weirdly unexplainable. The employee who shared the story said, “I’m still convinced that was intentional (because let’s be real, how could it not be?) but the culprit was never found.”
5. Moldy Buns
Over at McDonald’s, one man ordered a burger, bit into it, and found mold on the bun. This makes us have serious trust issues. We honestly don’t think we’d ever be able to eat out again after this. Best part? He told the employee, who then asked if he wanted it toasted. Yum.
6. A Wolf Spider
Over at Sonic, one person ordered a drink, finished it, and then opened the lid. And what did he find? A wolf spider. We’re not exactly sure what a wolf spider is, but we definitely do not want any sort of spider inside of our drink. Also, it’s kind of sad to think the little guy drowned just so a human could down a soda.
7. A Bone
One man claimed to have found a bone in his applesauce at Famous Dave’s — which is frightening. I mean, what kind of bone was it? Where did it come from? How did it get there? And why did no one notice there was a bone in the applesauce? There’s been a lot of talk of remains and bones, and yet many go unverified.
8. A Dead Rat
Poor animals! This time, someone found a damn rat inside their Chick-fil-A sandwich. The woman bit her sandwich, saw the rat, and freaked. She sued for over 50,000 bucks — citing emotional distress. Weird. We couldn’t possibly imagine how this might cause PTSD. Almost eating a rat surely wouldn’t cause emotional damage, right? WRONG.
9. A Condom
Somehow, we can’t decide if a condom or a dead rat is worse. This is truly the stuff of nightmares. In Burger King, a man bit into his sandwich and tasted rubber. Yep — it was a condom. The man ended up settling out of court, citing emotional and physical distress.
10. An Actual Chicken Head
This crazy story involves a McDonald’s Happy Meal, some fries, and a chicken’s actual real head. Apparently, the head was buried into a pile of nuggets. The person actually reported the incident and received 100,000 bucks. The funniest thing? The store manager tried to offer a refund. Yeah, like that would work.
Remember when that woman found a deep fried chicken head Mcnugget at McDonalds a few years ago?— Frederick (@WhatupDetroit) February 27, 2011
11. A Lung
Because the world is a very dark place, one man found a LUNG in his chicken at KFC. It should have been thrown away during the separation process, but KFC claimed it was accidentally left in the meat supply. It really makes you think about going vegan, huh? No lungs, please!
12. Meth Capsules
At an In-N-Out burger, a customer found two capsules of METHAMPHETAMINE at the bottom of his shake. The manager actually offered a free burger as an apology, but the man sued — and we don’t blame him. How dangerous is that? Also, what’s up with managers thinking a free meal is going to correct the issue?
Customer says he found meth in a milkshake from In-N-Out Burger http://t.co/96hHZIW9Zm— TIME (@TIME) August 3, 2015
13. Human Teeth
You use your teeth to bite into food — not to bite into other teeth. In Osaka, one woman found a human tooth in her French fries at McDonald’s. Yuck. As Mashed reports, the managers of the location claimed that the tooth had not been fried — which doesn’t make it any better. I repeat: That does not make it better.
Ah, that moment when you bite into a needle. Appetizing! At a Burger King, one woman but into an egg and sausage croissant to find a needle. She started bleeding immediately. Long story short, she filed an 11 million dollar lawsuit for mental suffering. This isn’t an over-exaggeration AT ALL. Later, a man chomped down on a needle and it got lodged in his small intestine.
15. Bodily Fluids
This isn’t a fast food case, but it sure is worth adding as an honorable mention. Accoridng to a Gawker article, a woman in New York took a bite of sushi and thought it tasted oddly like — please take a seat — semen. The story goes, “Somewhere around midnight, she received a take-out order of tuna rolls, with spicy sauce on the side, and that the spicy sauce was tainted with human bodily fluid, which she believes was semen.”
Chicken heads, bones, needles! What about feathers? In 2012, one McDonald’s customer bit into some nuggets only to find a feather. And while we know chickens have feathers, this doesn’t make it any better. Like, at all. A chicken expert said, “It looks like a small pin feather from broiler type chicken that would be used for meat in just about any kind of processed chicken product.” Cool.
Over at Subway, a man says he found a huge knife baked into a loaf of bread. EXCUSE ME? He ended up suing Subway for millions after taking a bite and discovering the seven-inch monstrosity. Thankfully, he didn’t drastically hurt himself or end up choking on the knife. This really isn’t okay.
McDonald’s strikes again. In 2016, a man found a nail buried in his biscuit. Says McDonald’s, “Based on our investigation including a review of the video footage we have been so far unable to substantiate the claim.” Thank goodness, too, because that could definitely have killed someone. Between knives and nails, we’d honestly rather discover a feather.
19. Deep-Friend Fake Nails
In 2015, a woman went through a Taco Bell drive-thru and ordered nachos. And because we all know what could happen at any time to our food, she found an acrylic French-tip. Stupidly, the chain offered $40 as an apology. Again, this is not enough.
The lesson here: ALWAYS investigate your food. Take a flashlight and stare at it. There’s nothing like biting into a knife, a rat, or an unexpected and unidentified bone. Even better, make your own food, never leave your house, and build a bunker underground.