Ever watch your server running around dishing out food, taking orders, handing out checks, and generally ignoring all of the rude restaurant customers?
You gotta give ’em credit. Not only are these people underpaid and undertipped a lot of the time, but they’re also usually super busy and tend to smile no matter how much abuse or attitude they’re given. Bless their hearts.
But over at Reddit, someone asked, “Waiters/ waitresses of Reddit, what’s something the customer should stop doing?” and we couldn’t help but be curious. What are the things waiters hate? Because what if we’re the one doing something wrong? What if we’re the terrible restaurant customer who ruins our waiter’s day?
In general, a little politeness and self-awareness go a long way. And if you have to switch or modify your order 600 times, at least do it with a smile and a little apology. Your waiter is probably overworked and trying their best, so try to put yourself in their shoes before you get snappy or leave a crappy tip.
Oh, and please do tip. Waiters don’t make very much money hourly (the government says waitstaff don’t have to be paid, by law, more than $2.13 per hour, which is totally unliveable) — so they rely on your tips.
Hey, don’t hate the player; hate the game. Being a server is HARD WORK!
1. Don’t let your kids wander all over the damn place.
It’s dangerous AND it’s annoying. And we get it, your kids may have some excess energy, but a restaurant is not the place to release it. This is one of the things waiters hate most.
One waiter writes:
“Letting your kids wander away from the table when they get antsy — we are carrying sizzling platters, trays of cocktails, and stacks of dishes and this is a nightmare waiting to happen.”
We’re not sure why people would need to be reminded of this oh-so-important fact.
This waiter is right: People are carrying hot food and no one wants to spill a sizzling plate on a little kid’s head. Waiters also don’t want to get in trouble for asking a child to sit down, so it’s up to you to control your kids!
2. Don’t make noises at your server.
We realize it’s a shocker, but this is rude.
This includes snapping.
This waiter said, ‘Don’t snap or whistle at me. I am not a dog. Likewise, don’t commend me with “good girl” when I drop your order at your table.”
If it’s not clear, this is rude behavior.
Your waiter isn’t an animal or a servant. They’re a person who is helping you eat your meal. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: A little decency goes a long way.
3. Do not threaten your waiter with a lower tip.
Seriously, y’all. The waiter writes, “I’ve seen folks stack singles on the table and tell their server, “for every issue, I take away a dollar.”
Yikes.
We all know that good service means a good tip. But when you pop into a restaurant with a stack of dollar bills on the table (to be reduced with each “mistake”) you are employing an unhealthy and toxic power dynamic.
Please, don’t be that person!
Your waiter isn’t there to appeal to your ego or power needs. Got it?
4. Don’t try to re-clean your silverware.
This is a complaint that came up in multiple server threads. Apparently, some folks don’t exactly trust the kitchens of restaurants, so they make a request for lava-hot water.
“Every so often, I get people who want hot water so they can soak (and theoretically) sterilize their silverware.”
“Or, sometimes people want plastic to-go silverware. Guess what? Our plates and glasses go through the same damn dishwasher that the silverware does, so if you think our shit is somehow contaminated, your sterilization method isn’t very thorough,” countered one Redditor.
“Our silver is cleaner than your [junk] at home.”
in addition to being washed, we soak that [stuff] in sanitizer before we polish and roll it. It’s a restaurant, not an operating theatre. Get over yourself. Rant over.”
5. Don’t stay up until closing time.
Just be aware of how your behavior affects others. As one waiter wrote, “Almost closing time and the group is sitting there with their food finished and just talking.”
“Please talk outside and let me close the restaurant. I just want to go home on time.”
We promise, there’s probably somewhere else you can go after you’ve finished your meal! How about anywhere else so that the waiter can go home and get some sleep? Being self-aware goes a long way in this world, and we promise your waiter will appreciate you for it.
6. Don’t take a nap at your table.
This is an actual nightmare: “I worked in an upscale steak house that had sofas in the dining area. Literally had people take naps and I wasn’t allowed to disturb them because that’d be rude…. this thread is bringing back a lot of bad memories.”
Look, we’ve all been there.
We’ve had long layovers at the airport. We’ve had late nights studying. We’ve been tired before, guys. But maybe when you ask someone to let you nap at the table, you should know that you’re keeping them from new customers and you’re putting them in a super weird position.
7. Being a regular doesn’t give you free reign.
Some regulars are kind, lovely people. Others use their frequent patronage as an excuse to do whatever they want. Not cool.
Especially if they are clearly taking advantage.
“I’ve been working at a new place recently and they have this huge crop of regulars. But my boss just bends over backwards for them. Each person has their own little needs and they feel so entitled.”
“It’s insanity.”
“I wouldn’t be able to handle it but most are good people, nice to talk to and tip well. But the other day a regular flipped because I didn’t give her some discount she expects to get because my boss discounted her one time. Turns out she always tips on 15% on the value after discount as well. Horrible witch of a lady.”
8. Don’t laugh at people for dropping dishes.
Oh, and don’t cheer either. This is one of the things waiters hate, even if they smile as you do it.
You might think you’re breaking the tension, but you’re not.
Listen to this: “Don’t cheer or laugh at me or my colleague when we drop plates or drinks. This isn’t school and if it happened to you you’ll probably die of embarrassment.”
“Also just generally don’t be rude. I’m a human too!”
You might think it’s funny or cute or clumsy — but the waiter has to do the work to clean it up, all while having everyone’s prying eyes on them. Would you like that to be you? Probably not. Just continue on with your meal and let your waiter work in peace!
9. Try changing your kid’s diaper somewhere else.
It’s a bit disturbing that we even have to mention this, but folks, don’t change a baby’s diaper in a public area where everyone else is eating.
This bartender witnessed it twice.
“I bar tend at a hotel restaurant. We had a family staying for a few days, (a couple in their late 20s, early 30s, a few friends, and their collective offspring).”
“The adults order round after round of long islands one evening, letting their children run.”
“…then proceeded to change an infants diaper on the table. THE TABLE. With other guests around trying to enjoy their dinner. This happened two nights in a row. facepalm”
Perhaps that is more disgusting than annoying, but seriously.
Parenting. Do it.
10. Don’t snap at your waiter just because you’re having a crappy day.
We’ve all been there — we’re out to dinner on a date or with a friend or a particularly annoying family member when we get into a tiff.
Maybe we try to keep it quiet, but the second the waiter comes over, we bark at them.
One waiter recalls: “I had a woman snap at me while I was taking her order because she and her husband were arguing. They ordered their food and asked for the check and a box 10 min after I dropped the food off. It was just a very awkward and uncomfortable experience for me.”
The lesson here:
Don’t take your problems out on your waitstaff. Just try. Because they probably had to deal with that ALL DAY.
11. For God’s sake…
…don’t leave religious pamphlets in place of a tip.
This is wild: “Leaving religious pamphlets in place of a tip. I don’t give a f*ck about your church unless Jesus is going to pay my rent.”
Waiters probably don’t need Jesus. What they need is a paycheck.
So try to leave them a tip — you know, made out of money — so that they can pay their rent and buy their kids’ food and clothing. Your intentions may be really good, but it’s probably not the most helpful or tangible tip. Can we get an amen?
12. Don’t place an order while chatting on the phone.
Can you just give us 30 seconds of your time? When you’re on the phone, you’re holding waiters up or making them stand there awkwardly while you finish your conversation.
This story summarizes it well:
“Being on your damn phone while ordering. Honestly. Just no. If I did that at a restaurant my mom would be furious with me. I am a human being: Look at me if you wanna talk.”
Just put the phone down and order your food like a normal human being.
*In grumpy Grandpa voice*: A little eye contact never hurt anyone!
13. Don’t say you’re ready to order if you’re not.
Again, this seems like common sense, but we’ve all done it. A server asks if you are ready, and as you say yes, you spend a few frantic moments scanning the menu.
“Please actually know what you’re getting,” one server lamented.
“And don’t just continue to look down at the menu going “hmmmmmm, well- ah no…. Hmm… What about? Nah…” Like bro I promise, it’s easier for me to just come back to your table when you actually decide. Then you don’t feel rushed, and you’re not wasting my time.”
14. If your food sucks, don’t blame the server.
The chef is a real problem.One waiter explains: “Blaming the server for what the kitchen does. Do you honestly think I take your order then run to the back to cook them?”
You can bring up your issues in a polite way.
It’s easy — just acknowledge that you know the server didn’t personally fry, chop, or cook your food in the kitchen. When people are polite and level-headed, they’re usually rewarded for it.
Try that approach before you freak out on your poor server.
Trust us, they probably wouldn’t want to serve you crappy food if they knew it was gross.
15. Avoid science experiments.
And make sure your kids do, too. Sure, it might be fun to squeeze all the condiments into one cup and mix it into a potent potion, but your server doesn’t want to clean that monstrosity up.
“Don’t do that childish thing where you pour salt, pepper ketchup and whatever other condiments are on the table into your water glass to make a science project.”
“Not only is it annoying to clean up, but I need to fill all the condiments at the end of the night, which can get very time consuming.”
16. Read the entire menu.
You know how frustrating it is when that coworker of yours asks about something that you clearly outlined in your last email? Imagine that a hundred times a day. No wonder this is one of the things waiters hate.
Double-check before you ask.
“Asking questions that could’ve been answered yourself if you just read the menu. Or asking questions that make me question your level of intelligence, like asking if a seafood dish has seafood,” complained one waiter.
17. Don’t force your super picky taste on the waiters.
Seriously, can you find something to eat without 100 modifications?
This poor server had a rough time:
“I had one customer send back a chicken sandwich 8 TIMES because it wasn’t up to her standards. Every time she came in people would pray she wasn’t in their section.”
Look, it’s okay if you’re vegan or you try to eat ethically.
It’s okay to swap an ingredient or ask questions. What’s not okay is switching your dish several times. If you’re that picky of an eater, maybe go to establishments that you know serve the food you like?
Just some food for thought. Get what we just did there?
18. Don’t grab stuff off the waiter’s tray.
That tray is a perfected balancing act! According to one server, this happens: “…trying to help me by grabbing a drink off the tray I’m balancing. Throws off the whole thing and then the tray topples over.”
If you wouldn’t grab something out of someone’s hand anywhere else, don’t do it at a restaurant.
Maybe you think you’re helping — which, awesome!— but you’re not. Waiters’ trays are balanced with weight in certain areas, so if you grab a glass, you risk dropping everything. Just. Don’t. Do. It.
Please don’t skimp on the tip.
This comes straight from a server, so listen up! “I’ve had bills go from $150 to $20 after a gift card is redeemed. I then watch the customer tip a percentage on the $20. If you’re going to take away 90% of my tip, then sorry, I’m not going to accept your gift card.”
“Why should that cost me my tip when I still did all the same work and effort as needed for the original bill amount?”
“People are way too focused on the amount it says on their bill and are on autopilot. How did the worth of my services just go from a $30 tip to a $3 tip because the amount of the bill is now lowered.”
You might be getting a deal.
But just because YOU get cheaper food doesn’t mean that the waiter doesn’t deserve to get tipped on what the bill would have been. Tip 20 percent (if you’re in the U.S.) on the whole bill — before the discount.
19. Don’t talk and talk when the waiter comes over.
You can resume your convo in a moment, jeez! Plus it just gets so awkward: “When I walk up to your table please stop talking. You can finish your sentence, I’ll wait.”
“But then please pause and acknowledge my existence so I can say what I need to say.”
“Not only is it rude but I kind of have to talk to you to be able to serve you properly.” This seems like a no-brainer, but apparently everyone thinks it’s okay to just keep talking when the waitstaff comes over. Obviously, this is super AWK, since they then have to stand there and wait for you to stop talking.
A little common sense goes a long way here.
Just finish your convo after they move on.
20. Don’t be a jerk if it’s super busy.
Because, honestly, it doesn’t make the service any speedier. One server, who also works as a cook, deals with people storming into the kitchen when they’re not seated promptly: “So when this happens I always get people knocking on the door or just walking into the kitchen.”
“If I’m making you wait, there is a really good reason for it.”
“Please don’t walk into the kitchen whilst I’m running around cooking”
So, let’s talk about waiting. If you’re waiting to be seated, waiting on your food for a helluva long time, or waiting for a refill, there’s a chance you have a bad waiter.
But there’s a bigger chance that the place is just busy.
So next you decide to inquire, ask yourself: Is there really anything my waiter can do?
What’s the takeaway here?
Be nice, be polite, and leave a darn tip. You’re hungry, and waiters are trying to do their best.
