Let me tell you all about my first love. We met when I was much younger. It was a summer fling, really. During the fall months, when school was back in session, I mourned the loss of such a snack. Yes, I’m talking about Doritos.
Cool Ranch Doritos, to be specific. When I was growing up, there were only two popular varieties — Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch. Yes, there was also an original Taco flavor, but in the early ’90s, it didn’t get the same push as its two newer versions. There was also a time when Cool Ranch actually morphed into “Cooler Ranch,” but it was more or less the same thing.
Since we didn’t have a lot of junk food in my house back in the day, we mostly got the chance to eat Doritos in the summer. Specifically, during vacation. (And of course, during birthday parties and celebrations with friends who had them in their pantry.)
To this day, they’ve held up. They’re literally like no other chip out there, which is probably why they’re still on the market. No matter how many varieties of Doritos may come out, Cool Ranch was built to last. That said, you may have trouble finding them if you’re traveling. And not due to lack of popularity.
Cool Ranch Doritos are known by other names in other countries, all which seem to prove that I wasn’t the only one who equates the flavor with who I am today.
Delish reports that in countries such as Holland, Cool Ranch Doritos are known as “Cool American.” And that’s pretty funny.
But, let that sink in for a bit. Ranch is such a big deal in America that it’s become the nationwide flavor, according to our fellow chip fans overseas.
Frankly, I’m just glad that the “American” flavor isn’t ketchup. Which is great on a burger, but often overused.
At the very least, other countries have something else to add to the package. In the Netherlands, Cool Ranch is reportedly “Cool American Flavour.”
You know, just in case you thought some cool American out there was trying to name the chip after themselves. Or, even more grisly — if someone actually thought the popular chips were meant to taste like a cool American dude.
Hidden Valley has so many commercials out there stating how addictive ranch can be. For some of us, it’s the only way we can eat our veggies.
And others, such as myself, feel like the seasoning is perfect for a chip. Cool Ranch chips may not necessarily be the equivalent to a side of actual ranch, but they come close enough.
can’t believe they didn’t name the royal baby “Cool Ranch”
— Doritos (@Doritos) May 14, 2019
Traveling Americans can’t get over how funny it is. There’ve been plenty of tweets and photos of the popular blue-bag snack.
today i learned that the doritos cool ranch flavor is called cool american over here and i. find that genuinely hilarious.
— 🐉 (@superlahna) May 22, 2019
The name can be classified as a confusing honor. Let’s just hope nobody gets the wrong idea when they grab some.
For the record, Cool Ranch Doritos have been out for some time. So, chip fans — even if they’re overseas — have had enough time to get to know the flavor quite well.
They debuted in the United States back in 1986, which means they’re over 30 years old. According to Maxim, they were created by Arch West, who wanted to create something that was between a potato chip and corn chip.
Honestly, there are worse chip flavors to be known by. They’re good, but do you think Salt & Vinegar would be a better way to sum up our country? I don’t.
It’s also a pretty good excuse to travel. Sure, it’s one thing to see other people’s pictures of Cool American chips, but seeing them in person will remind you that you’re overseas.
Also this cool American got "Cool American" Doritos today 🙃 pic.twitter.com/7qG2aMGck6
— princetongirl818 (@ceciliasrose) May 20, 2016
So, next time you bite into a Cool Ranch chip (which is hopefully sometime today), just know that they symbolize America in other parts of the world. When people think of living in the U.S.A., they think it’s all Cool Ranch chips, all the time.
And that’s okay with me. If eating a family-sized bag somehow makes me patriotic, why not?
