This Secret Fact About Parmesan Cheese Will Make Your Brain Explode

Thanks to nearly 0% lactose — less than half a gram per serving, according to LifeHacker — Parmesan, the super nutty, flavorful cheese we love just got even better. A lot of people, it’s estimated, are lactose intolerant. Depending on who you ask, a lot of Asians, Europeans, South Americans, and Americans are intolerant. Nearly 7 out of 10 people on this planet are, actually, according to National Geographic.

We just don’t realize it because, well, denial.

Interestingly enough, the wetter the cheese, the more lactose it has. 

Super moist cheeses like feta and mozzarella, obviously, fall into this category. The quick way to find out how much lactose is in a particular cheese you find at the grocery store? Look at the nutritional label to see how much sugar it has.

According to Wegman’s, the popular grocery chain, you can tell how much lactose a cheese has by looking at its sugar content, because that’s what lactose basically is: sugar.

Even though "Lactose" and "Lactase" can get tricky to differ, now I know that "Lactose" is a sugar present in milk. In the other hand "Lactase" is an enzyme. #NUT6074S19

— kayla Eduardo (@KaylaEduardo) June 13, 2019

(That’s why Starbucks skinny lattes are made with non-fat milk, which is lower in sugar, and therefore, calories.)

Other cheeses to feast on besides Parmesan, if you’re lactose intolerant?

Pecorino romano, super aged cheddar, and manchego are all good bets. Also, goat milk cheeses in general tend to be lower in lactose than those made with cow’s milk.

Also, plant-based cheeses are amazing.

And hello, let’s not forget all the amazing plant-based cheeses out there. Miyoko’s currently makes some of our favorite spreadable cheeses right now. They’re similar to Boursin cheeses, with less of the rounded mouthfeel that comes from fat. If you choose these, we highly recommend to take them out of the fridge and let them come up to room temperature so they become a little softer.

I mean, who wants to dig a cracker into some cheese to only have that cracker break in pieces?

If lactose intolerant, what are cheeses should you definitely avoid? (Or pop a Lactaid pill for if you can’t resist?)

American, Colby, ricotta, and feta. It’s not them, it’s us.

Also, how do you know if you’re officially lactose intolerant? Or if it’s just all in your head? Is this even a real thing?

Yes, lactose intolerance is a real thing and its existence far proceeds clean eating trends of the present. If you’re really curious, read a little book — not so little actually — called The China Study, by Dr. T. Colin Campbell. It’s fascinating, and goes beyond lactose intolerance to look at dairy consumption in general and its effects — and how historic diets in China fared far better because of low dairy and low meat consumption.

Official medical tests for lactose intolerance include getting your blood or stool tested (EVERYBODY POOPS).

But let’s be real, you don’t need Western medicine to tell you you’re super bloated after eating Brie. Or that you have gas that prevents you from sleeping over at your boyfriend’s house. These problems are REAL.

We’re not against Western medicine (actually, it’s great! Science!), but we’re also fans of listening to our bodies. 

Try going without dairy — or some dairy, or cheese, or milk — for a week or two to see how you feel.

In conclusion…

We’re going to eat some plant-based Daiya cheese right now. And probably some Parmesan too. With some pasta. Because it’s 1:38 p.m. here, but it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.