You’ve heard the terms “fat shaming” and “mommy shaming” used when people are going after others on social media. Well, now we have to worry about “wedding shaming,” too. That’s right — social media users are ganging up in private Facebook groups to bully and bash people for their “pathetic” weddings. Yikes times a thousand.
One such wedding-shaming post recently went viral. A guest at a couple’s wedding secretly took photos of the sad-but-true food spread and captioned it, “A wedding feast for your eyes.”
The photos they attached showed squares of unwrapped American cheese slices, orange slices (which still had the stickers attached to them), poorly-decorated brownies, and trays of celery sticks, carrots, and melon.
Originally shared in a private Facebook group, the photos and comments have been reposted and spread around the internet. On April 11th, the Daily Mail reported that one Facebook user wrote, “This is basically what we served at my three-year-old’s birthday party. Except we had quiche and strawberries.”
Another commented, “This is what happens when you ask your family to cook for your wedding.” And finally, someone called the spread “pathetic,” stating that the display looked like something one would find at a work party done on a low budget.
Of course, many others came to the couple’s defense, stating they may not have had the budget to hire a professional caterer. But even so, people were baffled about the lack of care that went into the food preparation.
This is horrible- shaming a couple for wedding food? Not everyone wants or can afford to spend tens of thousands on wedding food. You are there 2 celebrate love, not eat Couple shamed 4'pathetic' wedding catering https://t.co/sxmK6DVdQg
— Barb (@Barb36815041) April 14, 2019
“They took the time to unwrap hundreds of slices of fake cheese but couldn’t be bothered to take the sticker off the fruit?” one person asked.
Another added, “I don’t even know how they cut orange that way. It must have made it harder as usually, you cut in half then into quarters. That looks like a third.”
"Couple Shamed Online For Their 'Pathetic' Wedding Meal"https://t.co/K13cM8FdWE
— 100.3 The Bear (@1003TheBear) April 15, 2019
Also. This shaming post was harsh!!! I would be perfectly fine with a good ol cheese tray and fruit! Ouch. - @thewrongjess#weddingmeal #cheesetray #shamed pic.twitter.com/eAK1lnvX4G
As Wired reported in January 2019, wedding-shaming groups are currently on the rise. One group, titled “That’s it, I’m wedding shaming,” had over 34,000 members at the time of publishing. As of today, April 16th, that number has risen to over 48,000.
It’s in groups like these that people post brides’ dresses and demands, wedding decor, food, music, etc. Those who post can also tag their uploads with things like #cringe, #tackyfamily, and #fuckingyikes.
One of the nine moderators for the “That’s it, I’m wedding shaming” group said that engaging in wedding shaming is like watching reality TV. She told Wired,
“If it isn’t shameful, we won’t shame. Camo wedding dresses with hunting rifles on the cake are not tasteful in any capacity, and we will shame them to the death.”
What kind of friends are these? You are invited to a wedding to share in the couples happiness. If that is what they could afford or for whatever the reason that is what they served IT IS FINE. Weddings are not meant to be fancy restaurants.
— Rabbi Moshe Machuca (@moshemachuca) April 14, 2019
These groups are a safe place to vent about dealing with dramatic brides and frustrating wedding-related scenarios. However, it’s sad to think that these friends can’t go straight to the source to deal with their troubles.
Whoever posted this is so arrogant, they are not a friend at all, would not want them at my wedding.
— Terry C (@Travelsketcher) April 14, 2019
Partaking in wedding-shaming groups is honestly backstabbing at its finest. That is, if you get caught.
Very heartless move. One is certainly entitled to their opinion, but to post it online and shame the Bride&Groom like that, that’s a level of awful, mean, heartless and entitled that I can’t even put a name to. There are not enough bad words to describe this despicable behavior.
— GalMaverick (@GalMaverick) April 15, 2019
People outside of the groups have expressed their distaste for such forums that breed meanness.
Whoever posts something this rude about one’s wedding shouldn’t be invited in the first place.
It is obvious they came to "free-load" instead of celebrate their new life together... Some People can be worse than plastic cheese...REALLY!
— Joel Matteo (@JoelMatteo) April 14, 2019
If a couple cannot afford to have their wedding catered, who cares? Weddings are not about the food, anyway!
Weddings Used to be a Celebration of love and life! Not a competition over material things or appetizers! Maybe weddings should scale back and have the Ceremony and Dessert and send all these back stabbing guests home! (Not your Day, Not your Choices!)
— Eileen Stump (@EileenStump1) April 14, 2019
And if you are truly a friend of the couple, then you wouldn’t embarrass them online like this. That is tacky in itself.
It’s their wedding. You let them do what they want and be grateful they invited you for their special day.
— Mud Dog (@Hikenfool71) April 15, 2019
Hey — at least they had food, right?
Free food is still free food.
— Velvet (@VeIvet_Crowe) April 14, 2019
It’s one thing to make a comment to a fellow guest like, “Hm, this spread is a bit lackluster.” And it’s another thing entirely to shame someone in a public forum.
We hope the bride/groom in question has gone bridezilla on this guest’s butt. It’s what they deserve.
As the old saying goes: if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all. Perhaps the wedding guests in the wedding-shaming Facebook groups should take that advice.
Now pass one of those cheese slices our way. There’s no way we’re turning down free cheese and brownies.
