Here’s What Fast Food French Fry (And Sauce!) You’d Be, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

August 20, 2018

Yes, there are more serious topics you might want to discuss when it comes to your zodiac sign. Maybe you’re wondering about your love life and who your soulmate is. Or, perhaps you’re stuck at a crappy job and want the stars to guide you to bigger, better things. Well, here… we’re more concerned with what the stars have to say to our stomachs. What should we eat for breakfast? What donut would we be? How would the stars describe our dessert soulmate? These are the questions we ask ourselves. And currently, we’re wondering about fast food fries, based on our zodiac signs.

Whether you’re a Libra who likes to keep the peace or a Scorpio who isn’t afraid to embrace the darkness, there is a fast food fry out there for you. Not only that — but there’s also sauce to go with it. Taking into account all of your best traits, we picked out the French fry that best fits your sign, and the sauce that goes perfectly with your element. Read on to see what the stars have in store for your stomach.

Sonic’s Chili Cheese Tater Tots

Sign: Aquarius 

Leave it to you to be a French fry that’s, well…not actually a French fry. As an independent sign, you’re the type to skirt around conventionality as you aim to be different. And what could be more different than a fast food restaurant serving tater tots? And not just your average tots, but crispy-on-the-outside, soft-on-the-inside tater tots with chili and cheese on top.

Chick-fil-A’s Waffle Fries

Sign: Pisces

Everyone loves waffle fries, and especially loves Chick-fil-A’s waffle fries. Obviously that’s the kind of fry you’d be — as everyone simply adores you. With a soul as sweet as Polynesian sauce, it’s no wonder why! Plus, waffled-shaped fries were clearly created within a foodie’s imagination, which is definitely your territory.

Shake Shack’s Crinkle-Cut Fries

Sign: Cancer 

These fries are slightly crispy on the outside, but soft on the inside — just like the crab of Cancer. And honestly, we chose these fries for you because you pretty much have to pair them with one of the Shack’s milkshakes. We say that because if there’s anything you can (and should) drown your many emotions in, it’s a sweet shake.

Burger King’s Chicken Fries

Sign: Gemini 

For someone who sees things as either black or white, we had to go with a controversial choice. Chicken fries might not actually be fries, but for someone who’s adaptable, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that they taste good with that classic King honey mustard. These “fries” are certainly for the curious among us (we’re looking at you).

Popeyes’ Cajun Fries

Sign: Scorpio 

“If they can’t take the heat, they should stay out of the kitchen” is your motto. Fortunately, you can always take the heat. As a passionate person with a penchant for the darker side of life, you need a fry with a little ~spice~, the type of fry you wouldn’t bring home to mom. Add a side of Buffalo Bayou sauce and you’re good to go.

Taco Bell’s Nacho Fries

Sign: Aries 

When pondering on a fry that’s as intense and “all in” as you are, we couldn’t help but think of Nacho Fries. Nachos and fries? Now that’s a lot to handle. They’re described as “bodly seasoned,” which is the most Aries phrase we’ve ever heard. While they may not be a classic fry, they are certainly stubborn in their uniqueness. Sound familiar?

In-N-Out’s Animal-Style Fries

Sign: Sagittarius

If you’re looking for a French fry that transports you to a different place, look no further than this Cali classic. Though it’s on the secret menu, everyone knows about it — but that hasn’t stopped you from feeling cool and independent when you place your order. Cheese, grilled onions, and extra sauce are all you need to feel like you’re on the West Coast.

Arby’s Curly Fries

Sign: Taurus

Everyone knows that Arby’s curly fries are a delicacy, and if there’s one person who likes a delicacy (or two), it’s you. Though you can be stubborn about your opinions, no one can argue with you here. I mean, who would pass up an opportunity to try what many call the best fast food fries out there? Though we don’t need to tell you twice, you should seriously treat yo ‘self.

Ore-Ida Frozen Fries

Sign: Virgo

Okay, though these might not be classified as “fast food,” they are still fast…and are still food. We also have a feeling you’d argue that they’re a classic — especially since these fries can be customized. As a zodiac sign who’s all about the details, you can make these fries your ideal guilty pleasure — make them crispy, cheesy, garlic-y. Follow your heart. You work hard and deserve it.

McDonald’s Fries

Sign: Capricorn 

You’re responsible. You don’t like to dawdle. You’re serious about what you want. Combined, these three traits often guide you toward the most practical choice. And what’s quicker and easier than hitting the McDonald’s drive-thru for some of the world’s most famous fries? You don’t want to waste your time with those imposters. You want the real deal (just make sure you exercise your self-control).

Dunkin’ Donuts Donut Fries

Sign: Leo 

While they’re not your everyday potato fries, Dunkin’s new creation certainly takes the cake (and steals the spotlight). Fortunately, there is one zodiac sign out there who knows how to handle an audience — and yes, we’re talking about you. Now put on a cute outfit, grab your fries, and snap the most #extra Instagram photo you can muster. We know you won’t disappoint.

KFC Potato Wedges

Sign: Libra 

KFC does an amazing job at balancing out the seasoning on their fries, just like you do an amazing job at balancing out everything in your life. Yet…you do have an indecisive personality, so it’s good that these are the only fries at KFC (and thank goodness they’re delicious, so they appeal to your love of luxury). With these fries, you get the best of best worlds.

Don’t think we forgot about the sauce! What else are you supposed to do? Eat your fries plain?

Jack In The Box’s Buttermilk House Sauce (aka Ranch)

Element: Earth (Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo)

There’s nothing more down to earth than good ole ranch dressing, right? And when it comes to your classic (though sometimes extravagant) choices, you could definitely use something that will pull you back down to earth.

McDonald’s Sweet ‘N Sour Sauce

Element: Water  (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)

Sometimes sweet, sometimes sour, but totally unique — that’s you! Those who have you in their life are grateful that they do, just like anyone who gets to dunk a nugget into some seriously sweet ‘n sour sauce.

In-N-Out Spread

Element: Air (Libra, Aquarius, Gemini)

You probably saw this coming, didn’t you? As signs who aim to be different from the rest, who aim to come up with the most creative ideas, we couldn’t not pick this seriously special sauce.

Chick-fil-A Smokehouse BBQ Sauce

Element: Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius)

If you can’t take the heat, you should stay out of the kitchen. Well, no, not you — you’re the one bringing the heat. Just like BBQ sauce, you have a passion for flavor, every day and at all times.