The Funniest And Most Brutal Yelp Reviews Angry Restaurant Customers Have Ever Left

September 18, 2019

Imagine this. You go to a restaurant and receive horrible service. While you could complain to the manager or confront the server, you choose to leave a brutal Yelp review instead. You’re not the only one, though. A lot of customers use Yelp to find restaurants, coffee shops, and dentists. But they also provide criticism on the platform when things go horribly south. And boy, some of those reviews can be savage.

But we get it. When you go to a restaurant, you plan to have a good time. You probably imagine getting amazing customer service, receiving a hot meal in a timely manner, and going home with a smile on your face and a full tummy. Unfortunately, restaurants are not always consistent. And in turn, customers open their app to leave brutal Yelp reviews.

Here’s the good news. These subpar ratings equate to pretty entertaining subject matter. The general manager of a restaurant might not enjoy receiving some of the more antagonizing reviews. And we can’t blame them. However, we love reading them. So whether you’re in the mood for a good laugh or just curious about incredibly obnoxious restaurant patrons, you’re in the right place.

These brutal Yelp reviews will satisfy both needs.

1. They didn’t believe the restaurant sold real pork.

Oh no, this woman did not like her meal.

We [ordered] four small (don’t think [they’re] big, like other spots) beef gyros and an order of fries. [It was] almost $30!! I honestly think this establishment has been sold to Asian owners. See pics of what I was given.

And she was not afraid to voice her distaste.

It was like dry, tough, flavorless steak. Also, the fries were nowhere near the amount they [used] to give, and they were oily, soggy and bland! It was NASTY!!!! What a waste of money. This is an insult to us Greeks in the neighborhood to call this a Gyro!!! I wish I could get my money back after I dumped this trash food. Stay far away and go to Gyro World down the block.

2. A customer was appalled by Wendy’s lack of cleanliness.

Guess they don’t like grease?

Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Bad service, rude workers—oh, and it’s DIRTY! This was my original tip. Since I wrote this, Wendy’s did a complete facelift of the restaurant, and it appears to be much cleaner. The facelift included a new manager, who is very friendly and runs a tighter ship. He may be able to whip the employees into shape.

But they still frequent the establishment.

My office is right by here, so I eat Wendys two-to-three times a year. The one thing I’ll never understand is how in the world is there always grease on the top part of my bun? Every time, [it] never fails.

3. Someone took a bite out of their to-go order.

She has a point.

!!!!!!DO NOT EAT HERE!!! [I] ordered off Door-Dash – that was my first mistake. When I placed my order, I specifically asked for the burgers to be cooked well-done. [When I received] my order, both burgers were red on the inside. Then, not to mention the fact that somebody was so hungry, they took a bite out of the burger! How disgusting!!!! Called Door-Dash [and was told] they were putting [an] order through again.

And things got worse.

[We] waited [an] hour which was how long they said I had to wait for the new burgers. Then when I called them, they said that the restaurant wasn’t taking any deliveries! So you wait [for an] hour. Not to mention I’m pregnant. Who the fuck takes a bite out of someone’s burger? I didn’t even give it to my dog because I [didn’t] know what that person has it’s nasty and service sucks here. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME AND MONEY!!!! They shouldn’t even be open because of how disgusting they are!!!!

4. A guest thought Lady Gaga’s parent’s restaurant was a joke.

Apparently, even Lady Gaga can’t help save this establishment.

THIS PLACE IS A TOURIST TRAP! Let me start with the smell. You’d think it would have a nice Italian food aroma, but I’d liken it to a gas station bathroom masked by a cheap Febreze. [I] shared two expensive meals with a friend, [which] didn’t have enough portions to feed both of us. Paid $28 for an extremely tiny “Truffle” Alfredo Linguini that had no truffle taste and instead, tasted like pasta with watered-down alfredo sauce.

Everything was wrong.

When they brought it to the table, my friends and I started laughing because its presentation was such a joke. Then we split the chicken parmesan, which tasted like a frozen meal that was microwaved. Half of the chicken was too tough to eat. Just to prove how much they’re trying to scam tourists, look at the math they did for suggested gratuity. This place is an absolute joke – not even the two pictures of Gaga on the wall make it worth the draining from your wallet.

5. A customer didn’t have a sexy experience.

That’s not too hard to ask for, right?

Hmm. [Catchy] name and that’s about it. Had [a] bunch of specials like [a] slice of pizza, salad, and drink. I opted for pepperoni and sausage and two slices were above seven dollars. It was very dry, crusty and hard to bite into. I was hoping for sexy experience but that didn’t happen tonight.”

6. A guest had to update her review because things got worse.

Yikes.

I just left the review 25 minutes ago. Unfortunately, I have to correct this. The girl who’s serving is absolutely and totally clueless, not to mention slow. Please, the owner needs to get a grip of it.

7. Someone expressed their truth.

Location is everything?

It’s Chinese food in Connell! You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. This place is great for its location. I often look forward to coming here for dinner!

8. A customer ate dry chicken at a Thai restaurant.

To make matters worse, they were forced to split the bill.

This place sucks, and I had to split the check on my date. So weird, right? Anyways, don’t get the chicken satay, it was mad dry.

9. A guest didn’t approve the odor or the flies.

The food was bad.

This restaurant has been a constant disappointment in the four times I have gone over the past several months. I wanted to give it a try over and over because of [their] vegan options, but the vegan Ruben leaves so much to be desired.

Things got progressively worse.

The bread was untoasted, and the sandwich was just bland. It is very apparent when a dish has been poorly prepared when you have had occasion to have the same dish well executed (European Street Cafe, cough cough).

But one wonders why she kept going back.

Also, I have had to literally leave the rooftop area without ordering only two weeks ago in the middle of the day because one side of the bar reeked of garbage, and the other side was full of huge flies! Not appetizing!!! And while I do know it is the middle of summer in Florida, none of the other restaurants nearby seem to struggle with noxious odors and giant pests swarming the exposed drink garnishes. It was simply disgusting.

10. A couple had the worst experience ever.

They hated everything.

This area is so charming, and from the outside I really wanted to like this restaurant. Pizza and Italian had been underwhelming in Gainesville. Maybe the cool decor and patio with a busy floor would change the trend… unfortunately not. Date night was ruined.

Plus, the atmosphere was off.

After waiting 20 minutes – while we had to listen to misbehaved kids scream at the top of their lungs at an adjacent table while selfishly clueless mothers talked among themselves, completely unfazed—I asked for water with lemon. A gnarled, tiny little lemon wedge that looked used was brought on the side of the glass. We were ready to order, but she left before letting us do so.

15 minutes later, we are finally able to order and grab the veggie pasta and Eggplant Parmesan. I had to ask for bread. What arrived was the most ridiculous little basket of dry, bland wedges of toast passing as breadsticks.

The restaurant couldn’t even get the fundamental things together.

The salad was fine and balsamic dressing was edible, though a bit sour. The red sauce on the Parmesan was bitter and watery. There was no crispness to the eggplant, and the breading was soggy. Marginally edible with a sad side of penne no amount of added cheese could salvage.

At least the servers were friendly.

The creamy pesto sauce on the vegetables was embarrassingly bad. There was no flavor, just a light dusting of dry herbs. No garlic. Nothing but watery milk soaking bland vegetables and sticky penne. I wanted to leave as soon as possible after eating, which I only finished because I was starving. It took another 20 minutes to get our check and pay the bill. In total, an hour and a half for food that was the worst ‘Italian’ I have ever eaten…and this is saying something.

The chef should be fired. The wait staff, however friendly, should be trained on how to work a large restaurant—not all the tables were full. 10 [servers] should be able to handle that load better. I’m giving this two stars instead of one because at least the clueless wait staff were very friendly.

The owners should be embarrassed to call that food.

11. A customer left a questionable review.

We’re not exactly sure what’s happening here.

Questionable ownership decisions make this place a [two-stars] when it could be a five. Lil Red has a degree, not sure [if the] rest of the staff and ownership know anything about running a business. [It] seems like [they are] winging it and just [scraping] by.

But we can tell the customer isn’t pleased.

[If I was] to give this place a slogan, just as trashy as the quarter, with food that looks and tastes like I would rather have no quarter and call Carrabas for quality food. Mess with [the] bull, you get horns, beep beep. No Kingwood Kajun KingKake? Can you hear your babies crying now?

12. A couple got angry when a restaurant had no pinot noir.

All they wanted was red wine.

I wanted to like this place very badly. Unfortunately, I am compelled to give it one star. The food itself deserves more but there were so many things wrong that I would NEVER go back nor recommend that you try it.

1. [I] made a reservation on Open Table and when we got there, they said we did not have a reservation, despite receiving an email from Open Table after our dinner asking us why we didn’t show up for our reservation.
2. They had no pinot noir available either by the glass or the bottle.
3.  We were brought an appetizer that we did not order and that was intended for another table.
4. There were at least five occasions that I counted where the weight staff was unable to locate where to deliver the food they were carrying.
5.  We ordered a bottle of wine (pinot noir), that they finally said they ‘found’ and the bar staff brought a glass instead of a bottle and when we corrected the order she didn’t even leave the glass of wine that had been poured.
6.  I ordered the bottle of wine and they brought it to my husband to make sure it was ‘OK’ and to have the taste. Grrrr…

Oh, and the restaurant was out of steak as well.

7.  THEY WERE OUT OF SIRLOIN STEAK and did not inform us ahead of time which delayed our order. What restaurant runs out of sirloin steak and pinot noir?
8.  We waited a VERY long time for our entrees to arrive. Our server kept coming over to tell us that there was a back up in the kitchen but she did not offer to bring us anything while we waited.
9.  A glass of wine was delivered to our table, that we didn’t order, with cork in it and the bar staff said she would take the cork out and bring it back even though we didn’t order it. She never brought it back.
10.  The roasted cauliflower was cold.
11.  The mushrooms were cold.
12.  We were not comped for ANYTHING, not even offered a free drink or dessert.

The ambience outside on the deck was nice, not awesome and our waitress was nice and apologetic but the look on her face was like this happened all the time.

I definitely would NOT return!!!

13. This customer held nothing back.

Guess the experience wasn’t good.

Overpriced dog food. Not a fan. Gold steak gold poop. Okay, I’m done let me post it.

14. A parent regretted feeding the food to their children.

It’s not their fault.

I am a little embarrassed to say that I selected this place for dinner. I also [questioned] my parenting choices, considering the fact that I fed my boys food from this place and subjected them to the service offered here.

15. A customer dined with a rat.

This isn’t good.

Oh sh*t! A rat! As my family and [I] were finishing up our meal, my sister’s boyfriend exclaimed: “Look, a rat” as he pointed to the kitchen door. We all looked to see a nine-inch rat run from the restaurant kitchen into the dining room, where many other patrons were shocked and disgusted.

And how did management respond?

The manager came out to our table and apologized saying they have specialists come to the restaurant three times a month to make sure things like this never happen. He then handed everyone at the table $25 gift cards for the restaurant. Yuck! Sincerely yours, Karen.

16. This customer’s significant other had an unusual response about their meal.

Bubba burger.

Visited today. Yuck. The filet was raw when I ordered it medium. The Cesar salad had four pieces of dirty, rotten lettuce. The sweet potato fries were cold. The broccoli wasn’t good. My other half got a hamburger, and I asked if it was good and the response was, “bubba burger.” Never coming back.

Have you ever left a brutal Yelp review? If so, what prompted it?