Their little daughter may only be a year-and-a-half old, but she’s already experiencing the phenomenon of being “fat-shamed” — and by her own father, no less. On December 1st, a worried mother took to the r/Parenting subreddit to ask Reddit users for some much-needed advice.
Her husband recently expressed interest in restricting their toddler’s diet. He has also made frequent negative comments on her baby weight.
“So despite the fact I’ve told my husband that the recommendation for toddlers is unrestricted (healthy) fat before age 2, he’s already started fat-shaming her,” u/BusyCaramel wrote. She continued, “A month ago or so, he asked me when we should start restricting fats in her diet or worrying about her weight. I told him the answer is ‘when the doctor tells us to’. This may not be enough for him, as he would rather ‘preempt’ the issue before weight is an issue.”
The mom continued to provide examples of her husband’s involvement in their daughter’s diet, stating that he doesn’t believe she should be fed yogurt anymore, “since it’s typically fairly calorie dense.” Her husband has also commented on how big their daughter’s belly looks, despite his wife’s assurance that their toddler is perfectly healthy.
“Can anyone think of a good way to explain this to my husband and get it through his head he’s gotta quit fat-shaming the toddler?” u/BusyCaramel asked. And sure enough, Reddit came through.
Some were certainly more opinionated than others.
“A toddler does not become obese from eating healthy fats, but will most certainly become obese being forced into the mentality ‘fat-free’ means instant weight loss benefits,” one commenter wrote. “Continue feeding your child full-fat natural foods and encouraging her to be active. And on this item tell your husband to shove off!”
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“Your husband doesn’t know shit about nutrition,” another wrote. Fair enough.
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However, the general health-related consensus is that fats are much better than sugars, and there’s plenty of scientific proof u/BusyCaramel could show him.
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But even more concerning is the fact that her husband is already shaming their daughter and negatively associating food with body image. Many agree that this will have severe consequences in the future.
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“I worry for your daughter,” one Reddit user wrote. “Your husband’s attitude towards foods as being ‘bad and good’ and commenting on your daughters body is setting her up for an eating disorder, even at such a young age.”
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“I’m not sure which point to try to make first — that he is simply medically/dietarily/factually/scientifically incorrect in his viewpoint, or that his patriarchal attitude of dominant objectification is one of the prime evils in our society,” another commented. “The idea that a women has a duty to conform her body to the preference of the male gaze is the root of so much oppression and pain and inequality.”
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Several others commented to u/BusyCaramel that leaving the relationship entirely might be best for both herself and her daughter. However, not knowing the situation, it’s hard to gauge what’s actually going on inside the home.
Nevertheless, this mom has a lot of thinking to do and must continue to stand up for her daughter. Baby weight is very real and totally normal.
