The ‘70s was one heck of a colorful decade. Walt Disney World officially opened, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory premiered, and The Ramones played their first-ever show. The feel-good tunes of disco were alive and well, and funky fashion was around every corner. There were tons of legendary food releases, too. For instance, McDonald’s Egg McMuffin was created in 1972 and Twix Bars were introduced in 1977. Yet, in the midst of all of these historical moments, folks did not shy away from questionable food experiments — especially when it came to breakfast.
In other words, homecooked meals during the ’70s were just as colorful as the actual decade. Much of this had to do with the rise of budget-friendly processed foods. People were stoked about the convenience of things like boxed pancake mix, canned soup, and powdered drinks. So, what did they do? Mix ‘em all together and create hilariously terrible recipes, obviously.
But when you look at the fascinating history of food, it actually makes some sense. Processed foods were still a fairly new (and exciting) concept. They became exceptionally popular during the ‘50s and ‘60s, and by the time the ‘70s rolled around, things like Jell-O “salads” and canned meat were the norm.
While most gag-worthy retro recipes involved dinner or dessert, there were many gross vintage breakfast foods as well. Here are 13 examples that will make you clutch on to your avocado toast for dear life.
1. Mayoneggs
One might argue that isn’t much different than using cottage cheese or cream cheese to make fluffy scrambled eggs. However, there’s something unsettling about using the word “luscious” to describe a meal called “mayoneggs”…
2. Fish Stick Breakfast
As if a fish stick breakfast wasn’t puzzling enough, why not add pineapple rings and cranberry-orange relish to the mix? Yikes.
3. Crazy Cow Cereal
The hilarious thing about this cereal is that it “makes strawberry milk.” Also, what’s up with the creepy cow?
4. Creamy Salmon Brunch
A salmon brunch sounds tasty, but this recipe is a horrifying exception. To make it, you’ll need to combine salmon and canned mushroom soup. Next, you pour the mixture over Rice Krispies and top it off with Corn Flake Crumbs. Soupy cereal, anyone?
5. Swedish Birds’ Nests
Here’s another one that doesn’t seem too bad. But if you read the caption, you’ll totally think otherwise. Cold potatoes? Raw eggs? No thanks.
6. Cheese-Egg Bake
Admittedly, a cheese-egg bake is basically like a quiche or strata. But what’s with the slices of toast?
7. Eggs a l’Orange
That moment when you run out of clean dishes and decide to make”eggs in their orange cups.”
8. Salmon and Prawn Pancake
Is it breakfast? Is it dinner? Or is it the drunken creation of whoever drank that beer?
9. Beefburger Pancakes
Beef burgers, pancake batter, and condensed mushroom soup come together in this terrifying concoction.
10. Spinach and Egg Mold
There’s nothing like a Jell-O mold to ruin a perfectly decent breakfast of spinach and eggs.
11. Cowboy Smile Pancakes
Pancakes are cool and all, but the name is just a little bit strange.
12. Tang Breakfast Instant Drink
There is no way this “nutritious” breakfast drink ad would fly today.
13. Kaboom
It’s difficult to imagine a time when “sugary oat cereal” and neon smiley faces were acceptable breakfast foods.
